stuck
I am a step mother to a 6 yr old boy, his father and i have been together his whole life. married for 2 years now. Things have gone from horrible to blown up terrible the last few weeks. Neither of us know what to do about these issues and would like some advice. We cant afford a lawyer to fight for us, weve had one and it got way to expensive. My husband pays $400 a month for child support and she is taking us back for more because she found out that he has gotten a part time job to help support our family. Since he pays for his sons mother to have her hair and nails done all the time, we had hoped that we could get ahead a little with him getting a small second job. Geussed wrong. We buy the kid school clothes, shoes, coats because "she catn afford it right now" She screams and says such horrible things in front of her son towards my husband, she threatens us and harrasses us ALL the time, she interferes with my husbands time with his son by calling to talk to the boy every time we have him. She has always been jealous of my role in the family, she has never wanted me to be involved. I take care of this kid, i am not a stereotypical evil stepmother, i love this kid (although lately i am really beginning to regret my husband fighting for his rights i really wish we would have never persued this to begin with). We can never do anything right, we are always wrong and there is always something she is bitching about that we didnt do, or she will take our "privleges" away from us when and if she doesnt get her way with something. I have tried talking to her, i have tried helping her out with the boy when she needs it, i have tried letting her have her way with everything, i have tried killing her with kindness, my husband and i are all out of fight. we are at our breaking point and dont know what to do. The main thing is that she is not only hurting us (which she wants to do) but she doesnt care that she is killing her son a little bit every issue she causes and every fight they have.
Do you work? If not, the
Do you work? If not, the only way around this is for you to earn the extra money, not him.
See if he can talk to his
See if he can talk to his part time boss about quitting temporarily, until the CS modification is done. The BM in my situation did the same thing years ago and my hubby had to quit his part time job.
And stop paying for extras. He pays for the BM to have her hair and nails done? Seriously?
Can DH quit the part time job
Can DH quit the part time job and you get one? Like others said, as long as he's earning the money, it will be subject to child support.
DH should be following the custody order to the "t". When she violates it, he needs to call the police, or file with the court. A lot of that paperwork does not require an attorney.
If she is harassing you or DH, call the police. Document everything. Get a protection order if you have to.
Limit communication to emails. No need for her to be calling you nonstop. When the skid is with DH, limit calls with BM to once a day; she doesn't need more than that, and even that is pretty generous by most standards.
DH needs to put his foot down and stand his ground.
My FDH got lucky. He pays
My FDH got lucky. He pays $150 a month. That's what was CO. Which is sooo little, we only have her 4 days a month!! We do give extra though, because is is required to pay so little. She may be crazy in a lot of ways, which surprises me that she hasn't tried to change that. I know she needs more, she doesn't work and lives with her mom, that's why we give more. And FDH has a great paying job. We pay her directly but soon DHS will be taking it out of his checks, IDK if DHS can change the amount due to his income, it has gone wayyyyy up since the CO. If they did make the payments more that would be okay as long as it isn't too high. lol. And just in case you were wondering why it will be going through DHS is because my FDH requested it because his ex refused to sign receipts when given cash and did not accept checks. So he had no proof of paying, now that is will be going through DHS there would be no question as to him paying. She has gotten mad before, over my FDH saying he wants to adopt my son, and said You are stupid for wanting to adopt him, you are taking care of a kid that isn't even yours, I am going to file contempt and put you in jail for not paying me CS. You have no proof you have. She very spiteful. Anyway, after rambling, if we were in your situation I would work a p/t job til after it was over. Since they can't take my income.
I do work full time even, i
I do work full time even, i also pick up between 8 and 20 hours of OT per week. My husband is trying to get into a better paying job but its just not happening fast enough (even if he does she will get more). We do document everything that happens but the judges and courts never care to see what we have gone through the last 6 years, as far as a protection order goes how can he get his son if we file harrassment charges against her?? She does have the right to talk with her son when he is with us buit there has to be somehting wtong (in the courts eyes) with the way she goes about doing it. she makes this kid think that hes in trouble when he talks to her because she gives him the third degree about who hes with where he is what hes doing etc... my husbands boss at the second job has dropped him to a seasonal employee thinking that will help with him not having to give her more money, and he doesnt DIRECTLY pay for her hair and nails to be done that was me being a smart ass because we feel thats what his money goes for (not his son). For the most part now she sticks to the court orders because we have taken her to court so much for her not following but she constantly still causes stress (on us and her son) and causes problems because my husband has fought to be in his kids life and all she ever wanted was the money. she just said the other day in front of the kid "i cant wait until hes 18 so you are out of our lives" how do we continue to endure this stress and hatred but just let her negativity roll of our shoulders because its starting to kill us now to! I have always been the one to fight been the one right next to him sticking by him saying this is only going to make us stronger but its breaking me down now. Oh yea and now im in the wrong for making the boy help me clean the bathroom. Was i wrong??