SD19 Going Too Far/Befriending MY Male Peers
SD19 is so terribly desperate for attention and to find a boyfriend now that she is doing everything and anything she can to catch the eyes of guys. SD19 has been downloading social media apps on her iPhone like crazy the last two days (I know because she tells me and brags about some of the people she meets and encounters she has). She uses things like Kik, Pheed, Path, countless apps.
SD is using these apps to meet countless guys whom she has started calling and talking to on the phone, texting constantly, IM'ing and playing Xbox Live with. It both annoys and angers me because SD19 is not working nor going to school, just slouching around the house basically whoring herself online. Yes, I have one of those SD's who constantly posts "selfies" of herself on Instagram......uses hashtags like #blonde #beautiful #hot #nomakeup (LOL..she cakes on makeup an pretends she's not wearing any like it's not obvious)....the typical "accidental cleavage" shots, etc etc.
Thing is, SD19 has taken it to a whole new level now. She has been looking through MY facebook and twitter friends, picking out gentlemen she thinks are cute and sending them friend requests!!!! This is something which I find BEYOND creepy and inappropriate.
These are grown men, mostly married with children. Men that I went to school with and grew up with, I grew up in a completely different region of the U.S than SD....so these are people whom she has never crossed paths with in any way, shape or form as they far away from where we currently live and in my home state. Thankfully, most aren't biting at her requests and realize she is my STEPDAUGHTER...however, one guy I know did follow SD19 back on Instagram and now they're following one another on Twitter. It makes me waaaaay too uncomfortable. I can't fathom what the hell SD is thinking by combing over my friends lists and scoping out men.
Has anyone dealt with this or currently dealing with this or something similar? A promiscuous SD?
I would love to ignore her behavior, however I'm finding it more than difficult. I'm beginning to realize just how SD plays games with guys and sexualizes herself....but she plays innocent and tries to fool us (like we don't know what's going on) with these little lectures about how other girls are sluts, etc etc and she's not like that, would never do that, the typical facade....trying to push off like she has high standards which really irritates me!!
My dilemma is the fact that I
My dilemma is the fact that I can't keep my friends list private from her unless I completely un-friend or block her.
Years ago, I had taken both my SD's off of Facebook because I realized it was a mistake and didn't see it as being a good thing within the dynamics of the family unit (to have DH and I's lives exposed the way they were to SD's etc). After removing SD's (they were the ones who sent me requests in the first place btw and I was so concerned with the playing the typical SM role of peace maker that I accepted)a HUGE dramatic ordeal was made out of it. I got attacked by SD's BM's along with other family members etc. They accused me of creating a gap and trying to isolate myself and DH and coming between their relationships etc etc. Total mellowdramatic BS.
I'm trying to think of a way to elude this issue without removing SD if at all possible.
She really sounds sad and
She really sounds sad and pitiful. What normal 19 year old girl is trolling for old men? A normal 19 year old will be out having fun with young men. She might still be a slut but at least not such a totally pathetic one.
My DH - mid 50s- dated many 25 year olds before I met him. I was not the least bit jealous of these young girls. I thought they were kind of pathetic to be so desperate for attention that they would go out with an old man.
When I was 25 I would not have gone out with a 35 year old man much less one in his 50s.
SD19 is JUST like her BM and
SD19 is JUST like her BM and Aunts in this sense. They all will have relations with men both very young to very old....her 44 year old Aunt got pregnant by a 19 year old boy a few summers ago....her BM is known to sleep around with older teens to men in their 60's+. I don't think SD has boundaries in this sense when it comes to age as she grew up around this kind of behavior from the other women in her life.
I don't particularly care
I don't particularly care about the age of these men. What gets me is that she is going after married men.
I would make your friend list private, or keep her as a facebook friend, but adjust your profile settings so what she can see and access on your profile is limited.
Wow. Just wow. I would
Wow. Just wow.
I would seriously block her from ALL of my social media. What does your DH say about this?!
I would LOVE to block both
I would LOVE to block both SD's from social media. I just explained above to the first responder why I don't, because of the MASSIVE shit storm that would come my way again if I did. It would probably be easier if SD didn't live here as well and I didn't have to be around her in person once she realized I caught her off socially. I did this once before in the past a few years ago and don't care to revisit the misery of dealing with SD's entire freaking family about it. These people are outrageous.
I have brought it up to DH. His face read horror and disappointment but he really said nothing...shook his head and said he didn't want to think about it. Class A move by a Bio Dad....DENIAL
wOw....what does her dear old
wOw....what does her dear old daddy say about his precious baby "friending" your married friends?
He refuses to confront the
He refuses to confront the issue and doesn't discuss it because he says he doesn't want to think about it.
I have already approached DH before about SD's issue with relentlessly searching for a BF since her and her ex broke up. SD has had BF's since she was a young teen. She's just like her BM and Aunts in that regard, they ALL depend greatly on men and having relationships. Even SD told me last week and I quote, "I don't know how to not be in a relationship." BINGO...just like her BM!!
It concerns me because the women in her family have gone through countless men....they each have been married at least 3 times a piece, have gone through continious streams of BF's and her BM alone has been engaged twice in the last 6 months.