SS (17) is totally into himself and doesn't care about anyone..
A little background. My H only sees his son once to 2 times per month because he is travelling almost every week for work right now. The SSkids haven't been to our home since Aug 08 based on that they would rather stay with Mom and we are the "bad people". You all know the drill. They are older so we decided to just let it be since it seems everyone is much happier. My SS(17) is nothing like his father. Very into himself never asks about anyone only talks about himself. I have known him for 4 years I don't even thinks he knows anything about me. I tried for years to connect but it never worked. He does this with his father as well.. He will call H only on his bday or fathers day and I can hear the conversation.. only about what the SS is doing.. SS never asks anything about my H. I know it breaks his heart but I have a feeling he was always like this because my H just says well that is how he is. This is worse than just being a teenager.. I know several teenagers and even though they are brats they have some social skills, etc. My SS does this with everyone I have observed it over and over again. My H is getting ready for a huge presentation at a University talking to 200 peoplee. it is a big deal and he is rather nervous. I sent him encouraging notes, his friends wished him luck, his family did the same. Well his kids didn't say a word but I got to thinking his Son doesn't know anything about it, because of course he didn't ask. I was going to send SS an email letting him know and it would be nice if he could call his dad. I know this would make my H day and would give him some encouragement to do a good job... I would do this without telling my H of course,.. but then I got to thinking.. Should'nt he just see how his Son really is.. only into himself and doesn't care a hoot about what his dad does for a living.. even though he supports him and his sister and even supports the BM with alimony. What would you do?????
AKA - I don't think it would
AKA - I don't think it would benefit dad if his son ignores him on his big day. I'd give him the benefit and tell ss about Dad's day so son can have the opportunity to give dad an encouraging word. This important event in Dad's life isn't the time for him to think about how selfish his son is acting - he already knows. Think how great he'd feel if the kid actually follows through and calls dad with well wishes whether prompted by you or not??? Teens are so into themselves, some more selfish than others. My DH has to constantly remind his son (15 1/2) to be polite, courteous, kind, respectful, communicate & ask questions to others, etc... I even bought a Mothers Day card and strawberry pie last year for his Mom and couldn't get the lazy bum to take it to her down the next block. Doesn't mean I won't get another card for her this year "from her loving son".
So the SS is selfish?
And only talks about himself?
Sometimes they never snap out of it. I know adults like that. It is extremely OBNOXIOUS behavior that I don't care to be around. It is almost like they were poorly brought up only children.
So the SS is selfish?
And only talks about himself?
Sometimes they never snap out of it. I know adults like that. It is extremely OBNOXIOUS behavior that I don't care to be around. It is almost like they were poorly brought up only children.
Only Child?
You're right Angel, my SS was an only child. That's obviously the problem in a nut shell! The world has always evolved around him and no one else matters.
My thoughts
Ok, so I don't have kids, but I used to be one, and coming from a family of seven kids I can honestly say:
1) He's a teenager
2) He's a boy
His behavior is really not that uncommon. Not all teens are like that, but many are. Some grow up and grow out of it, some don't. Many kids only care about their own little corner of the world. He probably knows more about his peers than he does his own parents and like I said before, it's not uncommon.
Personally, I would just let it go. Perhaps things will change as he matures into adulthood. As one of the other forum members says all the time...one can only hope!
Sounds all too familiar
Hey my ss does this also he is 22 and right now its all about him.SS calls dad only when he has something to tell DAD or he wants money but when DH starts to tell SS about his day SS says well ive no time to hear this I must go now Im way to busy,obviously the world is all about him,DH gets really upset and it becomes an issue on my behalf,Its not fair.Time for some growing up and see what the real worlds about.Best of luck and keep in touch