I thnk it's funny
H had to work last night and when he came in this morning he was fussing about his job. Apparently the boss's 5 yr old daughter was in the office yesterday and made a huge mess. H was complaining about having to clean the mess, cleaning the office is part of his job. He said and I quote "She's not my kid so why should I clean her mess." He then starts with how he's not appreciated for all his work and they never say thank you to him. I couldn't help myself, I started laughing. When he asked what was so funny I told him that is exactly how he treats me. I'm constantly cleaning up after sd and she's 19. I have never heard a thank you from either one of them. I get blamed for everything H and sd does. Humm the irony is so sweet I think. }:)
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I'm constantly telling him
I'm constantly telling him to stop being rude to people. He thinks it's funny to pick on cashiers, waitresses, anyone he perceives as weak or vulnerable. He has actually made some cry and thinks it's hilarious. Yet when someone stands up for themself he gets all selfrightious and throws a snit fit about how rude they are. I'm tired of making excuses for him. Right now I think he deserves everything he gets so he can learn how it feels to be put down all the time.
WHAT????
"He thinks it's funny to pick on cashiers, waitresses, anyone he perceives as weak or vulnerable. He has actually made some cry and thinks it's hilarious."
OMG, I am so angry right now, your husband is a complete POS. I always read your blogs Ferretmom, and it's not like this is some revelation, but I would have LOVED to put your husband in his place at my restaurant if he even TRIED to pull that shit on one of my waitresses he would have been dropped on his ass on the curb by the 250 pound dishwasher/bouncers.
Men like this disgust me, preying on people who are weaker than them to boast up their own inferior ego. pathetic. I hope you divorce his ass, I would be mortified to be seen in public with such an arrogant jerk.
Sorry, this REALLY chafes me....
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
Wow...
Dr. Phil would love him... I remember him telling someone who sounds a lot like your H, "Well, I guess you've eaten a lot of snot and spit in your lifetime". Your husband needs to be on the receiving end of the treatment he dishes out until he's a puddle of quivering goo on the floor and sucking his thumb.
I don't know how you've put up with him. Hugs to you.
First H works in a carpet
First H works in a carpet warehouse at night and rarely has to deal with anything. Part of his job is to sweep the warehouse and straighten the office. My therapist says he has self esteem issues and that the only way he can feel good about himself is to belittle others. He looks for people that can't make eye contact and seem nervous, usually the teenagers who have never worked in public before. I keep asking him how he would feel if that were sd and someone was being rude to her. Doesn't faze him one bit. Now I see where sd picked up at least part of her obnoxious behavior. I keep praying that the therapy and meds help, it's just not happening as fast as I would like.
I was in the restaurant business for 5yrs and on more than one
occasion removed customers from my restaurant for being abusive to my staff. Your DH likes picking on people and that will go on until someone embarrasses the crap out of him or just kicks his ass. Make sure you take video when it happens and share. We would all enjoy seeing your get his comeuppance and being put in his place.
If I were you, the next time you are out in public and he pulls that crap call for the manager and have him removed from the restaurant yourself. That should make quite an impression on him. Make sure you have the car keys and tell him to wait outside until you and the kids are done with your dinners or tell him to start walking home.
One of the most memorable situations from my Restauranteur days was when a family came in late one evening (Mom, Dad and a ~12yo son). They all ordered but the wife wanted something that we did not serve. Gyro with no Lamb. The waitress explained that she could not remove lamb from the Gyro meat but that we could make her an all beef wrap with the same trimmings and that she could season it to her taste with the spice basket that was on each table. When the food came out the woman got very belligerent with the waitress who did everything she could to rectify the situation.
Eventually I was called to speak with the woman. After about five minutes of her abusive crap during which she stood up and got in my face I turned to her husband and said "Sir, you and the young gentleman are welcome to stay but I am going to have the lady removed from the premises because she is abusing my staff and disturbing my other customers".
In between bites of his food he grabbed the back of her blouse, pulled her in to her chair, leaned over to her and said "Shut UP!". At that point she just wilted and sat there quietly while her husband and son finished their meals.
I do not know what her problem was but she came back a week or so later with flowers for my waitress, apologized to both of us and became one of my best regular customers.
Eventually your H will run in to a service worker or manager that will put him in his place and he will be mortified and embarrassed.
I can't wait for the to happen.
Best regards,
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