My post the other day got me thinking...plus I read Serena's blog on being made to feel bad because she's a SM.

Part of why I was so mad at that woman at the wake was because I am a good person. In my life, I am popular, well liked and have always tried to be a nice, good person. Animals and kids love me.lol I have tried my entire life to live up to morals I was taught growing up. What really fried my a** was that this woman comes out of nowhere, plopps her butt down at my table and begins to verbally assault me. To me, it felt like an attacker jumping out of the bushes with a knife and attacking me...no rhyme or reason why. So what really made me angry was this woman, whom I've never met or even seen, thinks that she's either superior to me or I'm in need of some sort of punishment, so she takes it upon herself to 'punish' me by verbally abusing me. That's just crap!!!!
She apparently did not know or care that I volunteer at the animal shelter, take care of my mother who is critically ill, look after my friends and family, and am generally working to improve things instead of tear them down. Oh, and lets not forget paying for, taking care of, and loving CHILDREN WHO ARE NOT MINE!!! Apparently in all her bashing she forgot that one tiny little part! If I'm such an a** why am I spening my time, money and effort taking care of someone else's kids?!

When I met fh, he'd been divorced a couple of years, been through rebound girls and was ready for a relationship. He pursued me, he made me feel special, and told me how much I mattered in his life. His kids have come to love me and tell everyone that. In fact, BM's own family...all of them...said to me at the viewing that the boys are constantly talking about how much they like being with me. And yet despite all these things, this class-less, rude, arrogant, lazy, gold-digger decides it's her mission to hurt me. What a bunch of crap!

I've come to realize that many people don't appreciate the incredibly hard job it is to be a SM. The constant balancing of things to not upset a bioparent, while still caring for the skid. Always walking on eggshells, always being the diplomat. Well that's fine and good, but I've decided that I will never, ever again allow anyone to disrepect me for being a SM.
I work hard, pay bills, and am raising children that I did not give birth to. Do I resent it...sometimes. Most everyone even people w/their own biokids resent it deep down sometimes when the kids are ungrateful. Would I make the skids go live w/their bm? Never. Their home is their home whether I'm there or not because they love their dad. If I can't love his kids, I'm saying that I don't love him...and none of that is true. I do love him, I love his children. Why else would I or any of us put up with the crap we do?
But having seen the light now, I've decided that I will not let anyone make me feel bad because I'm "the new person", or "the SM", or "the fiance". I was not the one who ended the marriage...BM did that when she spread her legs for 2 years behind my fh's back. Where's the moral outrage for that? Why aren't bm's followers on her for that? Or how about leaving her children(abandoning them) so she could go shack up with DaddyWarbucks? Where were the people pointing fingers and shaking their heads? Where were the folks to criticize her and tell her what a bad person she is?
When I think about that stuff...my blood boils! Instead, bm's people try to hurt me and make me feel bad. Well I will never ever let anyone make me feel bad...I will always stand up for myself...and god help my fh if he doesn't back me! I work too hard and am too good a person to be abused by anybody!
From now on, I'm going to be standing strong for all SM's everywhere who are overworked, underappreciated, and who are finding their dreams to be slow in coming because they're picking up the pieces of other peoples' messes.
Hugs to all, LT
{Ok, off my soapbox now.lol Thanks for listening.}