got a problem, does anyone know about this ?
Dh's 19 year old told us this morning, she plans to start college in a few months and his ex is going to take him back to court to re-start child support on her until she is 21.
Can they do that ?
Daughter has been out of school over a year and working part time as a waitress. Now she wants to go to college she says so she can keep getting child support and health insurance.
I know blue cross will not carry her anymore, as we called them and they said it gets cut off at age 19.... and the only way to get her back on is to do all this paperwork and submit papers as to her being in college full time. Dh says daughter can go on mothers insurance now if she wants insurance. Why are they turning to him when they have their mother ?
Can child support be restarted upon the girl just saying she will go to college?
does the daughter not have to show more than just desire to re-start child support?
I mean has anyone ever heard of that ? re-starting child support after the kid has turned 18 and over a year has gone by and the kid is not actually in college?
help !!! I can't find any info online that pertains exactly to that.
Probably not.
In the jurisdictions that stipulate CS for college age children the CS usually goes directly to the Skid instead of the BM, the Skid has to initiate the extension of CS past age 18 and CS is dependent on full time student status with C's or better.
Once CS lapses it is not allowed to be restarted without the express consent of the NCP. I believe that since she has not gone to school in more than a year that it would be highly unlikely that a court would reinstate CS in your SD case. When she decided to enter the job market instead of college I would guess that your SD ended any chance of CS for college.
In our case CS will not lapse since SS will start college the fall following HS graduation. In our case CS will continue until SS is age 21 or quits school whichever comes first. This is not in our Judgement but in the supplemental rules of the state and county.
Get a copy of the supplemental rules for your state/county and prepare to defend your situation using the rules. They should be available on line.
It sounds to me that BM is just flapping her jaws to stir up crap or that SD is testing the waters to see if she can get back on Dad's payroll. I would guess that either SD or BM have heard about CS for college age kids but don't know much about it.
Best regards,
it's not BM making these threats
its his daughter and her ideas, ones she hopes her mother may go along with, but certainly my husbands ex isn't that foolish, as it will be up to her to pay for a laywer to take this to court
( means bio mom will have to pay several thousand and have a case to start to begin to take us to court) and it seems she has a slim chance of getting anything, so it won't be worth it for bio mom to go to all this trouble.
Step daughter better get her almost 20 year old ass in gear and go to college or learn a trade because she is mean, vile in her personality, has super bad skin and not too pretty.... all she had going for her was her figure and she is losing that ( gained about 50 pounds )...
if she keeps up like this she will have no way to live and support herself, end up a drunk like her mother.
Step daughter does not know what lifes about and thinks she can use and abuse people, she will quickly learn what the real world is like and all I can hope for her is that she usues her opportunities to be able to support herself while she has them
( living at her mothers rent free with a free car and free insuarnce) as not even her mother is going to allow this to go on long and one day may suddenly throw her out.
If she's fat and mean, she won't even have a bf to use and lean on. lol
so, she better wake up before its too late !
No
I have turned in to my legal eagle the past week and once the child is 18 that is it. There is no going back for more a year later - that is ridiculous - their dumb asses should have thought of that when she was still a teenager but hey better for you guys. I don't know if they were ever married but if they were something like that would have been agreed to a long time ago.
yes
maybe she is just in dream world and talking stupid, which would be nothing new as her plans do seem kinda crazy. Still... I believe she may try as she does have a very strong sense of entitlement.
Becuause of this, husband and I have taken great care to get all our papers in order in case he suddenly dies, she will not be thinking he owes her anything.
She has suggested if he pays half of her school, her mom will pay the other half, he told her.....
that she can get a job and pay herself.
My husband and I both have been to college and we both went on grants and loans, like most everyone else does as we are not rich people, and she is going to have to wake up and smell the coffee... she is not a Rockerfellow or one of Bill Gates kids.
If her attitude wasn't so miserable, we might help her some but its too bad, she has even written on her myspace page how much she hates us and for no reason other than we won't let her destroy us and all we have worked for so she can squander it on frivolous nonsense.
Little does she know her father has no money compared to me, so I have to be very careful in case I die before hisband, she gets none of it because I don't want to have anything of mine with her crappy attitude. She would shit bricks to find out I am the one with the money, not her father.
We set up a very tight will and trust for our estate for just ..
that reason. So BioDad can never get his grubby hands on anything my wife and I have earned and so that SS cannot be easily manipulated in to giving THEM a frickin dime!
If something happens to either my wife and I the other is the sole beneficiary of the estate. In the event of our joint demise it all goes in to trust for my SS until he finishes a Bachelors degree from an accredited institution or turns age 40 whichever comes first. If he does not finish a Bachelors degree by age 40 it goes to my neice and nephews. Our way of making sure we have control of how my SS turns out even from beyond the grave if neccessary. }:)
My parents have insured in their Wills that SS's BioDad and Fam can get absolutely nothing.
These people are manipulative enough that they would try to get their toothless loser hands on my families hard earned resources if there was any way they could.
Now, if SS does what he knows he should do and finishes college then he will be a fairly well off young man if anything happens to my wife and I.
So, I understand your concerns, perspective and frustration with a Skid who has a sense of entitlement and expects Sparents/Parents to cough up funds at their beck and call.
Best regards,
yes your right
I know how you feel about not wanting new spouses ex to get anything or her family to get anything.
We also have many assets. We are not leaving anything to his kids, we decided that before we married.
This is because we do not want them to wait for us to die or to make them do anything they do not want to do on their own.... we decided before we married, we would donate any funds in the event of both our deaths..........
in other words, everything to the remaining spouse should one outlive each other and the rest to be donated after both of us die....
this also gives us incentive to spend our money in our old age and not try to save any. We are going to retire early at 55 in a few years and should have at least 20 years to spend the money we worked all our lives for.
My husbands ex and grown kids will never see a dime of our money.
It is not so much my wife's family that is the concern as it is
my SS's BioDad's family. But that will not be an issue 16mos from now when SS turns 18. If anything happens to his Mom and I after that everything goes in to a locked trust until he finishes school. My SS is our sole heir and even my parents have accounted for him in their wills. We married when he was a year old and my parents have accepted him as their own from day one. Heck, they like my wife more than they like me!
JJOC, we are a very close family.
My I-Ls are pretty much going to end up in the poor house and we will have to keep them from starving to death. We already have that contingency in place and that is that when they are on their way to set up camp under the local highway overpass we will move them in to a very modest rental property in their hometown(that we will buy in our names), all of their SS$'s will go in to an account in my wife's name only and she will have food delivered and pay their utilities. We will never give them a dime of cash directly because they are absolutely incapable of making a good decision with it. They habitually do things like got to the casino (to win their fortune) and buy broken down farm equipment with any cash they have instead of paying their mortgage and have been on the hairy edge of foreclosure for several years now. Not long ago (~8years) they were 7yrs from paying off their farm. Since then they have leveraged it so heavily that they owe more than it is worth. We have counseled them several times to let it go but it is the family Mecca and has some spiritual connotation to the extended family that is beyond the capability of my wife and I to understand. My wife IS a part of the family and even she is clueless to the spiritual draw of the place.
Though it is difficult to not help everyone who needs it the point of the whole process is to hold my SS accountable for being self sufficient, and prevent my I-Ls from making the same stupid purchasing decisions over and over and over again.
The good thing about the situation my wife and I are in is that when we married all we had was my shiny new undergrad degree and a limited amount of personal property. We have built what we have together and she is catching up to me on the income level. In the past 15 years we have finished a BS, two MBA's and two professional certifications between the two of us. One more promotion moves me to the Director level in my industry and my wife is ~5yrs from partnership level in her industry. We will likely never be independently wealthy but we will be comfortable if we continue to live modestly and not make poor financial and lifestyle decisions.
For us, our SS will be self sufficient long before he inherits anything from us. His Mom was very young when he was born so it is unlikely that there will be much left for him to inherit when she is gone. I have the same situation with my parents. I am the oldest and my parents were very young when I was born (in the their teens though they had been married for two years when I was born). I will be the only guy in the retirement home who will have chores from his mother to do everyday. I have no doubt that I will be in the nursing home with my parents.
When we are all gone the grandkids of my generation are going to have a great time!
Best regards,
Rags
You seem like a level headed fellow I would like to talk with sometime concerning my DH. Do you have only the one SS? It's nice to see a guy on here and would love to hear your perspective on some issue I have with DH.
Sure. I would be happy to give my perspective it you think it
would be useful.
Send me a PM and I would be happy to speak with you.
Yes, I have one SS (16) who is an only child in our home. I have been Dad since he was 1yo. BioDad has a total of four out of wedlock children by three different mothers. My SS is his oldest.
Best regards,
update
Heard no more from step daughter about this and for the time being she is leaving us alone.
I hate to say it but think she has her mothers mental issues and illness and it will be a very long time ( decades) if ever that my husband or I have a relationship with her. I am saying I think she is a lost cause with us as her personality is formed as she is an adult, a very verbally abusive, USER kind of adult, which may be how she lives her life.
I feel it will take a major type situation for her to begin to come around to begin to grow up and I can only hope we are no where near when she begins to go through the growing pains of becoming an adult emotionally.
HER EXPECTATIONS are very unrealisitc, things put in her head by her mother... and life will not be kind to step daughter with her attitude and demands from others.
Does not help she is below average attractive and has a bad attitude, meaning.... her days of fantasy life, that she is a hottie, movie star, are numbered, as men are already showing no interest in anything serious with her.
I would almost feel sorry for her but dislike her too much
I only hope she can somehow get a degree or learn a trade so she can work and take care of herself and does not become a stripper or prosituate as it seems to be heading that way for her
as she already has the bad USER attitude, is lazy, and will take no responsiblity for her life. All those things spell trouble for her and many years of looking for victims. We aren't going to be her victims.
no, not in NYS, not even close
Thank God....
Nope, once a year lapses,
Nope, once a year lapses, and she has been working, CS no longer applies.
I know in canada, the amount will not be the same as CS.
1. They ahve to register for school
2. They must be working int he summer full time
3. The education of the parents will be taken into account, along with both of their financial situations and what can be afforded.
4. She or he must apply for grants and loans
This of course is in court and the calculation comes WAY lower then cs. example my dh pays 250 per child, when his daughter goes to college after 18, since she lives with her mother, its her mother that must take my dh's to court to extend CS for a few more years and the calculation will be much lower than 250 for her daughter. BUT if she does not register for school immediately after high school graduation, Cs is completely cut off. Even if she decides to go to school in one year or so, can't go after CS. THat is finished.
So don't worry. BM can go to court, she will lose. Way too much time lapsed and sd was working.
So she can get a job and pay for it herself.