DH's child support ending after almost 20 years!
MSD is turning 21 this Friday and DH's child support obligation will finally be ending. This "child" has wanted nothing to do with DH for basically her entire life due to PAS, has refused to believe that DH is her real father since her mother has always told her that DH isn't her biological father. (Funny, since BM insisted that DH was MSD's father years ago so that he would marry her.) MSD has refused any contact with DH or anyone that associates with our family and for about the past 6 years (when BM and MSD moved out of state)we have not had any contact information for MSD despite the fact that it was court ordered. (MSD and BM have moved several times between the Carolinas over the past 6 years.) We have recently been informed that the MSD has been married for the past 2 and a half years and is now pregnant with baby #2 which we know we will never see.
Considering that DH's adult daughters have grown into the nasty, manipulative, hateful people that his ex wanted them to become and that there is no personal relationship with any of these adult daughters, the ending of the child support obligation is going to be a welcome relief to our family. As DH's 40th birthday is this coming Tuesday, and the child support obligation is ending on Friday, DH and I decided to invite some close friends to have a toast. I want to get DH a small cookie cake to celebrate both of these milestones and was looking for any ideas as to what to put on the cake and even a small gift in congratulations. As DH's ex wife made the past couple of decades a varitable living hell and the adult daughters were trained to carry on her work by futher attacking DH any way that they could, we could use a little levity at this point. Has anyone else had a celebration of any kind when child support obligations ended? If so, does anyone have any humorous ideas of any gag gifts or funny sayings that I can have put on the cake?
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No fair...we are only
No fair...we are only SUPPOSED to get $50 for 3, YES THREE, kids.
LOL at one point we were
LOL at one point we were getting 25 dollars a month from bm. we actually got a check every two weeks for 12.50. comical. nevertheless, of course she couldn't keep her job for long and that promptly ended. I don't even know if she has a job now. don't care.
The Drama is Over, welcome to
The Drama is Over, welcome to the good life...
Not sure if anyone really celebrates the end of CS, I'm sure my ExH did. Now in 5 years when CS ends for OSS I will raise my glass in celebration but will be quiet about it. My DH doesn't like those kind of celebrations.
SO and I have said as soon as
SO and I have said as soon as SD10 graduates high school, we are celebrating, changing our numbers and basically cutting BM out of our lives for good!!! There will be no reason for her to contact us after that. We hate dealing with her and all of her drama and control freak issues and CS. . . well that's really just BM support and we know it. Now, I know alot of you will tell me that we will still have to deal with her even after SD10 graduates high school, but guess what. . . not legally we don't! And she isn't getting another dime from us, if SD needs something for college, wedding, babies etc she can sure as heck ask for it herself.
Congrats!!! I can't wait for CS to be over! Only 7 more years!!! (SD10 turns 11 in a couple weeks)
Once child support was done,
Once child support was done, so was BM as far as my husband was concerned. He refuses to have anything to do with her. I am here to tell you, it can be done.
No ideas but you would think
No ideas but you would think that if she is married why didn't cs end when she got married. Or at least they owe you for those years she is married and took money. I'm so confused as to how they can take cs when an adult kid is married and have a life of their own and supporting themselves or at least the husband is. So wrong.
Unfortunately, NYS leaves it
Unfortunately, NYS leaves it up to the parties to inform the courts as to any changes in status - they don't check anything on their own. The ex knew full well that she would stop getting support payments from DH if NYS courts found out about MSD's marriage so she kept silent. DH knows that even if he could get proof of the marriage in front of a support magistrate and the ex was ordered to pay back the amount that she was overpaid over the years that he'd never see a dime - he'd only end up missing time at work and losing money in the process. Another one of the fathers of DH's ex wife has had a judgement for an overpayment in child support for the past 6 years when that father got custody of that child and he hasn't seen a penny from her. The ex doesn't work and lives off of people so there's no taxes or wages to garnish...
Long story short, I think that NY should realize that as soon as a person turns 18 that they're an adult and can do "adult" things like get married and therefore shouldn't need to be supported until 21!
That's awesome! We still
That's awesome! We still have 5 yrs with SD14 (the law in Colorado is 19) and a little under 4 for my daughter in CS to pay. DH and I will be keeping an extra grand every month when that stops!
WAIT! You mean we have to
WAIT! You mean we have to wait until she is 19?! WTH? That sucks. So we will not only be paying her college tuition, dorm, books, etc but also CS for 9 months? Oh, I hate CO right now.
Yep, sorry
Yep, sorry honey!
https://childsupport.state.co.us/siteuser/do/vfs/Frag?file=/cm:faqInters...
"Ding Dong the Witch is
"Ding Dong the Witch is Gone!"
Congrats on this milestone, enjoy the freedom from financial burden!
How about something like a
How about something like a mortgage burning?
Burn the CS papers!
I had a wedding
I had a wedding dress/marriage license burning party a couple years ago! It was very therapeutic to watch things go up in flames!
So Happy for you!! I can only
So Happy for you!! I can only dream.
Your story sounds similar to
Your story sounds similar to mine. The oldest SD has wanted nothing to do with my husband since she was a child, due to a lot of PASing from BM's family. Which included telling her that my husband is not actually her father. CS in that state automatically ended when she was 18.
She has 2 kids, one of which we have never seen and probably never will. We do hear from her every now and then, when she wants something (which she does not get).
Younger SD (different ex wife) is not so bad but she did try to keep it a secret from us when she got married at 18. She spilled the beans, so off we went to the courthouse with a copy of her marriage license in hand. Otherwise, we would have been paying 2 more years since she was behind in high school (not that she graduated).
We didn't really celebrate (not sure why, God knows I looked forward to the day), just gave a big sigh of relief.
Congratulations!
Our situation is similar. SD
Our situation is similar. SD will be almost 20 when my DH's CS ends in a few months. SS is no longer a minor either. SD has been living on her own with her child since BM kicked her out a month after she turned 18. We have only seen her kid once besides at the hospital.
Can you imagine getting CS for your daughter while she is getting CS for HER kid?? How about BM bragging that the GOVERNMENT is paying her to watch her own grandchild??
DH has the same situation.
DH has the same situation. Kids are PAS'd and spend about 10 minutes per year with him. He has 20 more weeks of CS left. On week 21, we are going on a cruise to celebrate a new chapter in his life. Congrats to you both!
We say we are going to Vegas
We say we are going to Vegas when ours ends, in about 18 months!!
I think a cake or,drink at minimum is definitely in order ... Congrats!!
DH's CS will hopefully be
DH's CS will hopefully be ending for SD21 in May when she graduates from college. We're already doing a happy dance since he paid the final tuition bill at the beginning of the month, and will now be able to help me set aside money for our two baby boys (nothing like the $1k per month he had to set aside for SD though!) When SD21 is finally officially emancipated, we will definitely pop open a bottle of champagne! The thought of any money he spends on her being of his own free will and not court ordered is so wonderful!