I am proud of myself and I wanted to brag - so forgive me. I just got off the phone with H and I made some good points he couldn't argue with. I asked him 'Why are you so cold' his response
"Because when my kids are here you are cold to my daughter"
(mind you he does this every week she is here and has been doing it for years, long before she started being hateful and nasty - even back when I was breaking my neck to build a relationship with her.
I asked him, 'Do you think I started that?' He said "But you are an adult"
I said 'and she is a teenager. Is my son cold to you?'
His reply, "No"
my reply 'That is because I wouldn't allow him to treat you (H) that way'
no response from him.
I asked him if he wanted me to go from a woman who loves him from the tip of his toes of the top of his head to someone who doesn't give a f$@k. He said no but he explained he is upset because I am working a couple hours over each evening - I explained to him why and he said I didn't think he did anything at work all day. I told him I know he does because I ask - how was your day, how did this go, how did that etc.. I told him I ask because I care and I really want to know, but you never ask about my day and you don't even know why I have been putting in a few extra hours - which shows you don't care. I said I know it is f@$king amazing that I care but you know I do and I can prove it because I know what's going on at your work - because I ask because I care. He was speechless.
I hope he took my good points to heart because I'll tell you sharing my life with someone who wants to go out of their way to be cold and unaffectionate is really getting to me.