It's pretty typical. The best advice I can give is to choose your battles. For things that aren't important to you, let her call the shots if she is. On the things that matter, put your foot down. If you have an issue with EVERY single thing she does, you will be made to look like the bad guy. It will look like you don't want her to have ANY say EVER, just because she is the child. You probably allow your children to make some decisions on the little things, like picking a restaurant, or what you should have for dinner, what to watch on tv, etc. His daughter should have some say as well. On adult issues, you and DH have the only say, and when you make a decision, she has to live with it and not be allowed to convince DH to change his mind to meet hers. If you are having territory issues like sd hanging on dh and being a mini-wife, you will need to discuss that with dh in private and draw the line on what is okay and what's not okay. If he does not respect you, then deal with that. How he is responding is pretty typical...waiting at the door like a damn dog... just remember to pick your battles or you WILL be the bad guy. Good luck!

My SD tries to act innocent a lot. She will be mean to my daughters then try to blame them for not playing nice. She will also make messes and try to blame them. Once, she even tried to blame them for stealing her allowance. My husband believes everything that comes out of her mouth. I have to constantly be on alert when she is here. If I don't, my kids will get in trouble for something they haven't done. And, yes, my husband acts like a puppy dog waiting for her to get back. He will mope around the house the whole time she is gone. It's very frustrating. I do pick my battles with her and him. Honestly, nothing has changed and we've been married for 5 years. I don't have any advice. I was looking on this site for advice because I'm fed up. My.kids.mom does have good advice though. Hang in there.

Oh, one advice, talk to someone - like your mom or friend or anyone on steptalk.org. It helps to vent even if nothing changes.

My former SD (she lived with us when she was 14-15) was that way. Everyone blames me and my x-H for the problems we had with her because she's an honor student, likely scored high enough on the PSAT that she'll be a National Merit Scholar Semifinalist. She volunteers at a place that helps abandoned horses. All outsiders see her as is a saint.

And she's repeatedly called me a f'ing b***** to my face and told me she wants me to burn in hell, and constantly makes her dad feel guilty for "abandoning her". He chases her around like he's in high school trying to get to her him to like him so she'll forgive him. But she won't ever let the guilt trip end.

Can you afford a week out of town or visiting relatives?