It is definitely a relief to know I'm not the only one that has gone through the same feelings / situation as I'm currently in... resentment that is.
I knew before getting into my current relationship that my boyfriend came with 2 kids, and I thought I knew what all that would entail. I was wrong. Way wrong. And then to add having our own, now 6 month old, into the mix good gravy to say I'm in over my head at times is an understatment.
I'm not resentful towards the 2 step sons, I care about them, I want to be a great role model and to help mold their future adult selves. They are your typical 5 and 7 year old brother pairing. I am resentful towards "her" though. I guess I just don't know how to come to terms with that yet and get over it.
"Her" life is chaotic, and part of me believes it's karma for how she treated others, including my boyfriend, in the past. But the constant defending of her, the "bailing" her out (not of actual jail but just in situations for whatever reason she comes up with can't have her kids), and the almost omnipresence she seems to have over his side of the family and now ours. It feels like I'm competing with her, and I'm constantly coming in 2nd place, not with the stepsons but with his family and even the boyfriend....
Is it wrong for me to be resentful when it seems like I'm, for lack of a better word, stuck, with raising this woman's kids while it seems like she values her dating life and going out more than being an actual mother? This same woman has 2 older boys from a previous marriage and doesn't have custody of them. I know it's terrible to judge someone, especially when I've been around her a whole 5 times in 2 years, but we are human and base opinons of others on looks and hearsay. Sigh, I feel like a terrible person not wanting his other boys around all the time, but it's nice to get a break from hearing my name over and over and over again. Maybe they are lacking the female attention at "her" house.
Guess I should just find my big girl panties and get this Monday started. For anyone that reads my verbal bulimia thank you, and please any words of advice greatly appreciated.