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Step Grandma to the wayside???

Stepgeri's picture

Submitted by Stepgeri on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 9:43am

Hi
Just trying to find the right place for support???? Not sure where to go with this issue of step parenting and now grand- step parent or step grand parent???

I've been married for over 20 years and was step parent to a 12 yr old & 9 yr old in 1982. No real support groups were available then??? Things were up & down but I was too busy especially when we had our son in 1985. All worked out pretty well and when we moved from NY to CO the kids, now adults moved near us. Their BM moved to Florida so no struggles then. Now we have grandchildren ( 6mos, 6, 8, 10, & 13) and for our 14 yrs in CO I had fun with Sunday dinners & all the holidays. Sounds wonderful till now
BM is planning on moving to CO to "make-up for lost time". I am having a difficult time with this - I know she has every right and it is only fair to her children and grand kids but I just want to disappear and not be part of this???
To top this my son, who does not get along with his father, is moving to NY. My heart is torn & I've been in quite a depression just thinking about where this is going. There are other pieces to this broken puzzle but I can't seem to even handle this right now.
I've broken off communication with my sisters & brother not wanting to revisit this. In fact Ben writing this is causing heart ache. Not sure where to go or who to chat with ....
Any suggestions
Depressed SGM :? :? Sad

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 9:51am

Is it the issue of the BM moving near to you and you possibly being sidelined as a grandma that is causing you the most heartache? If this is the case, I would be optimistic that her desire to "make up for lost time" may not go down so well with your SKIDs as she thinks - they may well not be all that keen on her just reappearing in their lives on a whim and expecting to take full part when she hasn't been around for 14 years. Especially if there have not been frequent visits - or have there?

I'm sorry your son is leaving too - that must make things look extra bleak. Perhaps you could post in a bit more detail about specifics that are causing you to be stressed?