update on fiance's hiatus
so SD13 has texted him twice since they had their hour+ discussion.
first time was - surprise, she wanted something! she saw the pics from our shoot posted on FB so she texted him to ask for them (which we did NOT give any to her yet). now get this. all along she has LIED and said she doesnt have a facebook. so my fiance asked her "how did you see them on FB if you dont have one"? she then gives the CLASSIC bs line of "oh, i only have it for games". BULLSHIT! He ends the texting with her, then messages her mother to ask WTF is up with the facebook. BM was TOTALLY unaware of the facebook page (so she says). Next day the page is blocked, just like BM's and her family's pages are blocked.
the second time was just "hi" and he wrote back "hi" but did not engage further with her.
she then i guess called him yesterday (which explains his horrible mood last night) and they talked for all of a minute. she of course calls in the middle of the work day which means nothing to her, as her mother never goes to work so how could she possibly know that's what people do all day?
We talked a bit about it last night and he said flat out that he's had it with her and that he's going to be "coming down really hard on her" relative to her attitude and treatment of him and us. I hope he means it and i hope he sticks to this.
I also noticed on OFW that for some reason he gave away Thanksgiving to BM.... not sure why.
He would be better off to
He would be better off to continue his stand-off stance. It will work much better than yelling (or whatever he has in mind). Kids are used to that, he needs to make a clear statement and sometimes that's best done with silence.
THEN when she finally gets the message and reaches out to him he can discuss it from a place of power not as the angry supplicant.
i think the "coming down hard
i think the "coming down hard on her" is basically giving her the same treatment he's received from her. keeping a distance, not really caring if he sees her or not. being short with her or ignoring her altogether.
but he did say if she does come and spend time with him/us he's not putting up with crap. the keeping distance i think he can do - he is so fed up with her right now. but if she comes over? that's where i dont know if he has it in him to be firm with her.
I think his definition of
I think his definition of coming down hard on her ~ is completely unclear.
Is the silent treatment ~ really am avoidance treatment ???
Yeah I don't know if a
Yeah I don't know if a bio-parent should ever use the silent treatment. To me it's a little more cruel than yelling.
he's responding when she
he's responding when she texts. he's just not going much beyond what she usually does which is "hi".
he used to text her "hi" and then she wouldnt reply and he'd go on and on with "you there" "please answer" "sd?" he's not doing that crap anymore. she's a rude bitch and he's had it.
he's tried yelling, he's tried "reasoning" and he's tried co-parenting. he gets no where. he's done. he has been extremely stressed and this kid has caused him chest pains and the like. his health as of late is not good thanks to this spoiled rotten brat. she is not worth it, ive felt this way since january, and he is now realizing it too.