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Underage SD16 having alcohol parties in house, fiance will not discipline

deerbeat's picture

My divorced then widowed fiance will not discipline his stepchildren and it has become a problem between us. His daughter, 16 has now begun to have late night drinking parties, and he is allowing it and not taking keys from the other kids, leaving them susceptible to driving home drunk. He will not take responsibility for the illegality of the matter, or the potential danger he is putting these other kids in.

My question is, if I move in am I not supposed to have any voice in this or future matters? Where is my line? I feel like I need to put a stop to something illegal that endangers other peoples and my own life (could be arrested if police come to house). Am I supposed to be invisible in this family because they are his kids, and just supposed to 'put up and shut up?' I don't know if I can.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

AVR1962's picture

This is a matter that is not good for the kids or the the adults letting this happen. Serious arrests could happen if these children are drinking in your (FDH) home. You are the wise one in this sitaution. If you cannot have a say-so now, think what your future holds for you. This is serious and he isn't listening. Do you really want to continue down this same road?

ddakan's picture

Actually, if you move in, you are liable for what happens. You are contributing to the delinquency of minors. And this is for when you are home or not!

SS17 was getting high with his friends. When he moved out, I was cleaning the room and found a bong. Now if the police had been in my house for some reason, I would have had drug paraphenalia, wouldn't I? It's the same if they drop a joint in your car...you get penalized for it.

Why would you even consider moving in to this situation. Find someone new to love. Save yourself the heartache of always feeling the way you feel now. You can't fix them, they are forever going to be dysfunctional and they will tear you down with them.