Stepdaughter doesn't want us to get back together
Advice and help needed. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7yrs though we still as yet hadn't made the jump to live together, were both divorced I have two girls aged 14 and 11 he has 3 children a boy of 14 a 12yr old girl from. First marriage and an 8 yr old boy from 2nd marriage.
The children were quite young when we got together, his daughter has always been hard work and a very jealous girl (my daddy all the time she used to say ). As she's grown up she has got bit easier to get on with but as well as ved in separate houses I never spent a great deal of time with them just one /2 evenings every other week so I guess we've never really integrated as a family unit .
Well my boyfriend and I broke up couple if months ago and have recently decided we'd like to try again and sort things out we'd just managed to get back on the same page when he mentioned to his kids about me coming round, and apparently his daughter was dead against it, burst into tears said she doesnt like me or my girls, she hadn't really given any justify able reasons for such a dislike, he said he'd talk to her again and again she was in pieces. He has now said we vest prepare ourselves thst we can't be together as he can't have her being unhappy, she Said she didn't want to be with him the other day as she'd seen I'd called him and thought we getting back together, I feel hurt she's being like this and told him I think it she's had couple if months of having you to herself prob feels threatened whatever he Said he thinks it's more than that cos of how upset she is, that she'd Said she wants him to be happy and have a girlfriend just not me!! And couple of months ago she was having problems at school and started self harming so now he's reluctant to upset her incase she does it again I'm at a loss what to do, I feel. Like a 13yr old shouldn't be dictating our lives that she would get over it and adjust as my kids do (they're not keen on him) plus the kids soon will ll have their own lives and he'll have given up our relationship in the meantime ..
You put this ball-less wonder and his shallow gene pool behind
you. Keep them there.
Move on and enjoy a new phase of your life adventure.
Take care of you.
I am guessing that based on
I am guessing that based on the fact that you broke up that there were problems with your relationship in the past. With so many kids between you, it would be understandable that their presence and emotions can add extra layers of complexity. Perhaps daddy overshared with his girl about the problems you two had? Maybe she saw herself you not being a nice person to her dad (or that was her interpretation)? While I don't agree kids should dictate what adults do, sometimes adults should make decisions that are in their children's best interest. Right now, it sounds like his daughter has some things she needs to work through and perhaps the pressure of her dad being in a relationship with someone she doesn't like and having to have other kids in her life that she doesn't get along with isn't the best thing for her right now. Unfortunately, he does have a responsiblility to her and maybe your relationship is better split like you both decided before.