Not seeing eye to ee with my SO
I have been with my SO for 5 years living together for 3 years. I used to get along great with my sd15, however, things have become rocky. When I first moved in sd15 had to complete some but minimal chores. My so has always made significantly more money than me. He encouraged me to quit my job and start my own business as he does not need my help taking care of the bills. We do not see eye to eye on responsibilities around the house. The last year he has let sd15 do almost nothing around the house. With all of the chores to do around the house I have had no time to focus on growing my business, which makes it difficult to chip in on bills. I have asked for sd15 to help by doing at least one small chore around the house and he will not support me on this. When I ask for chores to be done he throws the fact that I am not paying bills in my face and that sd15 should just be a kid. She is extremely lazy and expects everyone to do everything for her. I really care about him but his lack of support for me is tearing our relationship apart as well as my relationship with sd15. I used to be alright with her being around but lately I have had no desire to be around her.
He's doing his daughter a
He's doing his daughter a disservice by not teaching her how to prepare for her own home and adult life/responsibility.
Anyway...a maid/housecleaning lady several times a week might be a solution. He's not changing his mind on the chore bit and he's the one who told you to quit employment to focus on your business. He didn't need nor want your financial contribution. So let him put his money where his mouth is. A housekeeper.
Thank you for the reassurance
Thank you for the reassurance because he acts as though I am crazy. It has gotten so bad that sd does not put dishes in the dishwasher because "she is not very good at it." I have even asked for her to start it (already loaded just needed to push 2 buttons) and she could not figure it out. This is very frightening to me as she is about to start learning to drive a vehicle. She has gotten out of chores by claiming that she doesn't feel well but is always better when it is time to go out with friends. He gives into it all I'm assuming because of pent up guilt. He is great most of the time but I cannot say that I am unhappy about something or else everything gets thrown in my face. When I ask him to support be with stuff lie this, he says that he has done enough to support me financially, although I have never taken any money from him. He is just paying bills he would already have to pay without me and I buy almost all of the groceries. I made the big mistake and told him that my business is at the point where it is taking a turn to be profitable and he suddenly feels he should see that money rather than me invest it to continue to grow my business, needless to say, he does not need the money. I do like the idea of telling him to get a housekeeper but fear it will continue to make sd even more lazy. He complains about her being lazy all of the time but will do nothing about it and gets defensive if I agree.I just want him to be a parent and help her develop into a functioning member of society.