This is kinda long..Im sorry. I need to get this all out to someone.

My Fiance and I have been together for almost 4 years. We are getting married next year. My fiance has a Daughter that is 10 years old. We get along very well thankfully. We have our days that are not the greatest, but I know that is normal. She is starting to get into the "pre teen" days. She is definately PMS'ing. I am just waitning for the day she starts her period...because I know its coming soon.

I guess the thing that is the hardest for me is the way my fiance and my FSD act. One my fiance acts more like her older brother at times than her father. He is 31 and yet he doesn't act that way. He lets her back talk him and disrespect him...and I can't stand it. He is getting better. I sat him down and told him that he needs to not let her do that. If he really loves her he has to be the disciplinary dad that he should be so he can teach her how to act properly.

The second thing is that I think at 10 years old there are certain things that a little girl that is becoming a young lady should not do now. She does not need to be sitting on her dads lap. Sitting on his knee...thats fine...but she does not need to be anywhere near his lap. But yet she does and he seems to think its fine. She wants to be held like a baby sitting on his lap and its not right. She cuddles with him on the couch...kind of how I cuddle with him. If he is laying on the couch she will run in and jump on top of him and lay on top of him. That definately bugs me. Because she has seen me do that. Its ok for me...but not for her. He tells me that she is his baby girl and she just wants to cuddle with him cause she loves him. I know he doesn't see it the way I do nor does he see anything wrong. I know that he thinks its just a child wanting attention from her father. I think its not. I think its her way of getting attention yes, but in a way that is wrong. She see's him giving me attention that way and I think she wants the same kind of attention.

She is the only child and she thinks everyone is supposed to cater to her and make sure she is not bored. She always wants to play board games. Which is fine...but not every minute. Sometimes I feel bad telling her no that I dont want to play. But I only have the weekends to relax and so I like to sit and spend time with my fiance and just sit and watch a movie or tv with him for a little while.

I love my FSD I really do. She is a wonderful child. But there are just somethings that I don't know how to deal with. I want her to act like a young lady and not lay all over my fiance. It bothers me. She doesn't neeed to do that. She isn't his wife or fiance I am so she doesn't need to be that close with him...that way. I have spoken with my fiance and I told him that it bothers me and kinda creeps me out. I was never that way with my father. My mother from the start said. He is her husband and our father. There are certain things that we are not to do. We do not act that way towards him. If I had a bad dream I would come in and lay next to my mom till I callmed down and then she would put me back to bed. Never once did I ever lay in bed next to my dad.

My fiance however see's nothing wrong with that. My FSD10 cannot sleep alone. She still sleeps with her mom and when at my fiance's moms house she sleeps with her grandmother. When she comes to our house though. She has her own room and her own bed and she does everything she can not to go to bed. She reads until we turn the light of and make her go to bed. Then she lays there and sobs and cries till she falls asleep. The other night while I was at work my FSD didn't want to stay at our house. So my fiance took her home. Well her mother didn't want her home cause she had a guy over. She told her daughter that she had plans and didn't know she was going to be coming home and that she had to stay at her dads house. Well my FSD10 started crying saying but you told me you wanted me home and that you wished I could stay home with you. Well of course the mom didn't say anything she just held her while she cried...and looked at my fiance and said she had to go with him. So he carried her out of the house and into the car and took her home. She was so upset. She told him that she doesn't feel comfortable at our house cause its not hers. (I have done so much to make her feel comfortable to. I got her a nice bed and comforters in her favorite colors. I let her decorate her walls with posters that she wanted. I don't know what else to do.) She also told him that she doesn't like that he doesn't pay attention to her that he just watches tv. Which isn't true. Yes he watches tv but he plays games with her too. And she agreed to that. But of course she started crying histerically when she had to go to bed. So what does he do....GRRRR!!!...he lets her sleep in our bed next to him!! I did not know this till I got home. I was getting into bed and he rolled over saying did you put her to bed. I said "did I what??" he repeated it again. I said no I guess she put herself to bed...and why the heck was she in our bed???? She has her own bed I told you not to do that and you know how I feel. He says dont tell what do do right now you don't know the circumstances!! Oh that set me off.

Of course the next day...she acted like everything was fine. I dont know why she is this way. She always does this. We have her this weekend and Im sure she will be crying herself to sleep again.

Thankfully my fiance and I talked about what happened that night. He told me what went on. I told him that he is hurting her by letting her sleep in the bed. I told him that he should have just told her to sleep in her own bed especially with what happened. He was just caudling her...like everyone else. I told him I dont like her sleeping in our bed. I won't have her sleep in our bed. She is ten and is capable of sleeping alone. And it is just a little wierd for her to be in the same bed as him. I also told him how I feel about her laying on him and sitting on his lap. He seemed to get what I said. But I will have to wait and see what happens this weekend. I don't want him to not have a loving relationship with his daughter. I want it to be healthy though. He needs to teach her how to be a young lady and show her how. I try to do the same thing. I just hope that she see's that later on in life.

Sorry for this being so long!!