Need help. I am going crazy!!

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So long story long because there's no way to be short about this. My 12 almost 13 SD is gonna drive me crazy!!!! Where to start.... She has been caught stealing from me. From clothes to underware to shoes to make up (by the way she's not suppose to be wearing). When she is caught she lies and says her grandma bought it for her. We have to call her grandma to get her to tell the truth. She has been caught sneaking out after we go to bed to play on the neighborhood with friends. Walking to walmart at 1am. She has been on a fight at school and suspended for a week and kicked of the bus for two weeks. She gets F and Ds in alot of her classes. She not only steals from me but she steals my stuff just to cut it up and destroy it. She steals any treats I buy for all the kids to the point we have a lock on our bedroom door and all sweets are kept in there. She had no respect for me at all from nasty looks to nasty comments. She has told her brother she would push him down the stairs. She has told my son she wishs I had never met her dad and that if she was bigger she would hurt me. And lets not even get started on the mini wife thing she has going on. I can't even hold my Fiance hand in a store with out her crowding up to him and me just giving up and walking away. Shes all sunshine to him followong him from room to room even waiting outside the bathroom door for him. She never gives us any space. If we are in the bedroom for more then 5 min she is knocking on the door with some stupid question. I truly believe she may have psych issues. He has tried talking to her yelling at her grounding her. Calling the police out to talk to her. Her first response is to throw a full fledged temper tantrum. I means scream cry throw her self on the ground rolling around tantrum. Then she gets almost eerily calm and stares at you with a hate in her eyes. Am I in over my head is there anything I can do. She is ruining our family.

Do you have custody or just

Do you have custody or just visitation? Where is BM? Have you tried counseling? How long have you and your finance been together? How old are the other boys in the house?

Sorry for the questions, I just need more info

My son is 8. And my SS is 11.

My son is 8. And my SS is 11. Both great boys just your average problems with them. Too loud too much roughing around. They are great kids. Their BM has not been on the picture for over 7 almost 8 years. No calls visit nothing. We have been together 3 going on 4 years.

Here is my thing. If your

Here is my thing. If your finance is willing to call the cops on her to try to talk to her then it is obvious she needs intensive therapy. She has probably been through more than her mind and emotions can handle since her BM abandoned her. This child need strong boundaries or acceptable and unacceptable behavior. She needs to be rewarded for good. She needs some kind of tutoring to get her grades back up and she 100% needs a therapist that the whole family can work with.

She has a mental health

She has a mental health evaluation this Thursday. The problem is she knows right from wrong. One minute she blames her behavior on me because she doesn't like me. The next time its because she misses her grandma. The next time its because she didn't get het way. She is well over the age from knowing right from wrong. She is very manipulative person. She had a burn on her arm from doing that stupid salt and ice challenge ( youtube it. I had to to find out what it was) she told my mom that her dad did it to her gor fun so she wouldn't get in trouble. She has made claims to a school nurse that I hit her. I hit the roof on that one. Called the cops myself made them come out and take a report from me and the boys who were both there at the time. I'm not letting her drag me down into something like that. Of course she got in trouble for lieing once again. I really am starting to believe she might have psychopath patteren.

I feel your pain on the

I feel your pain on the things you listed above. My SS is getting to this point as well. At least your DH is proactive and realizes that there is a problem. Get through the evaluation and go from there. She may be faced with inpatient care if she continues on this path.

My son is 8. And my SS is 11.

My son is 8. And my SS is 11. Both great boys just your average problems with them. Too loud too much roughing around. They are great kids. Their BM has not been ln the picture for over 7 almost 8 years. No calls visit nothing. We have been together 3 going on 4 years.

She needs some guidance ~

She needs some guidance ~ she's calling out for help. Major attention she needs !

I think the calling of the cops to talk to her is such a cop out. No pun intended. It's seems DH wants to get help for her but calling the cops to speak to her is a complete waste of community tax dollars. Cops are not therapists. What was he hoping to gain from that ??? He is on the right track but feels like he is hesitant to admit she needs help.

Therapy is helpful ~ she is trying to deal with so much n can't cope on her own. Therapy will teach her healthy ways to cope. When you get her help ~ just make sure you find someone she is completely comfortable with. I think she knows her behavior is in question but her issue is trust ~ who has her best interest at heart.

We called the cops twice on

We called the cops twice on her. Once because she was trying to say I hit her. I have never laid a finger on her. And the other time we couldn't get her to stop stealing and then she snuck out with a neighbor girl walked to walmart at 1 am. Both times we have called have been needed. I'm just fed up. She knows what she is doing she has no remorse for anybody or anything she does wrong. Nothing is ever her fault. She is lazy eats all the time. Complains non stop. Always picking on her brother or my son. She wont listen to anyone. I hope thursday we find something out or I will be the one needing therapy for all the chaotic behavior she pulls non stop.

No remorse is a sign of

No remorse is a sign of severe mental illness. Like I said, get through tomorrow and go from there. You have a long road ahead.

My heart goes out to you !! I

My heart goes out to you !! I hope you get answers to all this behavior.

I am sure your going to need therapy ~ I'd welcome it. Use it as your outlet !

Good Luck to you ~