Living with teen with depression issues
I love my husband so much. But, the issues with his teen daughter are causing so much stress and sadness in my life. In the last 18 months she has been hospitalized for threats of suicide. Has scars from cutting. Ran away from home last month. She is medicated for depression. She is 17. Grades were poor last year. Has never had a job. I started talking to my husband last March about plans for the summer for her. There wasn't much effort in job searching, so I talked with a friend and had a place for her to volunteer two afternoons a week for a hospital thrift boutique. I could never get her parents to call and set it up.
Am I wrong to think we are failing this child who has such a history, is medicated for depression....? Her parents' answer this summer has been to walk out the door every morning at 7 a.m. and leave this girl alone, with no plans, nothing to do, for 11 hours a day..all week long. I felt, at the very least, this was neglect. I told my husband that this was not acceptable in our home. I know we cannot control what happens at her moms, but she is at our house every other week. I felt we were turning our backs on her. He tries to justify that this life is ok for her. I say she needs to get out, get some sunshine, exercise, have something to look forward to.
Please someone tell me I am not the crazy one. I have been made to feel that my expectations are wrong. I feel like I am losing my mind.
Thank you so much for
Thank you so much for commenting. Your thoughts will help get me thru the day. I am a real estate agent, so my day is flexible. I usually work at the office in the a.m. and am home in the afternoon to plan activities for her 11 year old brother and my 13 year old son. Try to get her to join in to go to the pool, movies, etc. She says no..and husband doesn't try to persuade, so she sits at home all day. Breaks my heart. There have been comments in the past that this isn't really my concern, yet Mom drops her off at our house and she is under the roof where I live....so I feel I have a right to feel responsibility.
Hi - I have suffered with
Hi - I have suffered with depression for the last 13 years. It was very bad the first year, and I had a number of months off work, since then I have lived a fairly normal life, with the aid of some medication, but I still suffer from anxiety and find it hard to do certain things that most people take in their stride.
Its great that you are taking an interest in your SDs problems. One thing I would say is that it doesn't help when you try to get depressed people to progress too quickly. When depression is severe, it is impossible to "look forward" to anything. It's not like any state of mind that you would recognise in someone who has never had it. If she has recently been suicidal, then it sounds pretty bad. I would concentrate on helping her take "baby steps". Just going out to the shops for an hour can feel overwhelming. When depressed, it is almost impossible to concentrate on anything - when at my worst the only thing I could do was listen to music. I could not read, watch television or converse. I do not know how bad your SD's condition is, but possibly you need to tailor your approach to what she can cope with.
You are right in saying exercise helps - perhaps someone could accompany her for a short walk in the evenings as its summer and stays light till late. Talk to her about what she would like help with, but depending on how severe her depression, she may not be able to say until she is a little better, and may need gentle encouragement to do even the smallest things.
My Ss has depression and
My Ss has depression and takes medication too. He has attempted suicide before as well by overdosing. He was tortured and abused by his stepfather for 3-4 years and this is the result. He goes to therapy and it helps a bit. He refuses to go anywhere and has spent days in his bed. Entire days. I know how you feel. It breaks our hearts as well.