Laziness at it's best!
I'm stuck with SD15 being home today, and it has already started! She rolls out of bed at 10 a.m., and is slamming things around in the kitchen. She goes to get some cereal, and then I hear her griping that she just poured sour milk in her cereal...why was sour milk in the fridge, etc. I don't drink milk, and BS19 has been gone for spring break...so um...no one has touched the milk until now. I guess she expects me to check the milk for her every day and remove it from the fridge if it is sour! I went out to see what the commotion was, and I told her, "Um, that is why you always smell the milk before you pour!" She starts in that she started to pour it and it was chunky, so then she smelled it and it was sour, and all pissed off that she had to pour out that bowl of cereal! I told her again, "Smell BEFORE you pour!" Here is a response you will all love, "It's too early in the morning!" WTH? I've already been working two hours! I love how these lazy teens think 10 a.m. is early! She is lucky BS19 is gone for break! He LOVES banging on her door at 8 a.m. to get her out of bed on his way to the gym or work during school break days. He doesn't get her laziness, either!
She then puts that bowl in the sink (not in the dishwasher), and gets a new bowl! Really? You are too frackin' lazy to rinse that bowl out and reuse it? I told her to take out the trash when she is done with her cereal, and she made a face at me...we will see if it gets done. I'm not taking it out! She is now plopped down on the couch in front of the TV watching trash on MTV (I miss the days it was actually music television instead of what I like to call more trashvision). This is where she will be the rest of the day now, when she is not in the kitchen looking for snack foods to binge on only to go throw up every couple of hours (day full of slamming doors)! I'll be sure to tell DH that she was told to take out the trash, when I bring up again that it needs to go out this evening!
Seriously, I would be perfectly fine if she had to go to school all year with no breaks...I'd love it! And she took this hoodie from her boyfriend that I'm shocked isn't walking on it's own now. She literally wears it 24/7...all day, sleeps in it...hasn't made it to a washer machine in the more than a month that she has had it. I swear she just sprays it down with perfume and calls it clean! EW!
But seriously...DH needs to start finding places for the princess to be on breaks, instead of leaving her here to bug the hell out of me all day. I work from home...I don't have someplace to go (there is no office). I rather enjoy the peace of working from home...no distractions of phones ringing and the loud gossip you have in the office environment...I can have my music without anyone telling me to turn it down, the bathroom is always clean, and I don't have to stand in line at the microwave at lunch. But when SD15 is home, man, I wish there were an office to go to!
I took the day off and SS19
I took the day off and SS19 is here till he leaves for work at 230. He left, I am guessing to go eat some fast food. He won't eat real food, ev3r! My DH has got to kick his a$$. The other SS has been up all night and sleeping all day. My Bd came to my work to volunteer a few days this week. Today she is a friends.
YAY!! MIL called, and is
YAY!! MIL called, and is coming to get SD15 for a day out with the grandkids! I'm rescued!
After finishing the cereal, SD15 just put her other bowl in the sink, too. She just watched me put my yogurt bowl in the dishwasher, so she KNOWS the dishwasher is dirty. And you can't give me the "I forgot" excuse, either...as it has ALWAYS been the rule that you rinse your own dishes and put them in the dishwasher! So, both of her bowls are sitting in the sink, now! How difficult is it...really? I'm just going to leave them there...let's see if DH notices. I'm sure they will sit there until like Sunday, and then SD15 will try to claim that they are BS19's dishes (since he will be home then). She always tries to blame everything on BS19! Dishes or trash in the TV room? Oh, it is BS19's (though she was see drinking milk out of that cup or eating those crackers). The sink in the bathroom that only she uses is filthy...oh, it was BS19 (but he has his own bathroom and doesn't use the hall bathroom at all...even he won't stand up to pee in there because he says the toilet is so gross). She is told to take the trash out...well, why isn't BS19 told to take it out. Um, maybe because he works 30 hours a week on top of school and isn't just sitting there in front of the TV sleeping or texting every moment he's not in school...oh, and he buys a lot of his own stuff with the money he earns, instead of asking for expensive makeup and stuff and expecting the parental units to pay for it...but yet...doesn't want to do anything to actually earn it!
Yuck is right! When MIL
Yuck is right! When MIL showed up to get SD15, she still wasn't ready, so she went to SD15's room to hurry her up. She opened the door and saw the clothing all over the floor mixed in with the trash and everything else. I could hear her telling SD15 that she couldn't understand how she could stand to live like that...that she needed to take a day and just clean it up. SD15 just gave her a snooty, "Yeah, I guess." MIL was even trying to help her out, asking, "Is it because your dresser is too small? If so, I've got a really nice dresser at my house you can have." You could tell my MIL was really disgusted by her room!
I mean seriously! SD15 has about a billion excuses for her room. One of them that she didn't have enough hangers to put her clothes up, so I bought her 4 packs of hangers. What did she do with them? She just threw them on top of the pile of clothes, where they still are (well, more like buried in the clothes now). Other times she says she needs help...that it is just too much for her! She is 15! She is about 12 years past needing someone to help her clean her room. DH has asked SIL and MIL to come over before an help...a family friend even came over to help one time. They would spend hours in there cleaning up the mess, only for it to look exactly the same within 2 weeks! I'm serious...her room looks like an episode of hoarders! Clothes, trash...you name it! And now we are going into spring...time for the spiders and scorpions to start coming back, and they LOVE her room! Don't find them in the rest of the house...but she finds plenty in her room...wonder why!
Now, I get that teenagers have messy rooms...my room was not spotless when I was a teen. Even still, I didn't leave my clothes on the floor and just trample all over them like she does...I at least hung them over the end of the bed or over a chair. And I didn't hoard trash! The trash went into the trash! Dishes went into the kitchen! How is that so difficult?
Teens are notoriously lazy
Teens are notoriously lazy you do well to just close her door and ignore the mess inside. It's been proven that teens need more sleep than an adult or a tween so expect them to act that way until after graduation. Also their "clocks" are set to later in the day. Left alone they would go to bed late and sleep late. High School should actually start at ten AM - they would do better. All proven by study after study.
Of course there are always exceptions so some teens just skip over the phase.
I'm not excusing her behavior just explaining it. You're doing well to leave the discipline to her father keep doing that.
I've seen places where you can rent desks and offices on a temporary basis. Your desk (perhaps in its own locked room) comes with a phone perhaps file cabinets and the like, communal bathrooms, copy machine, fax, custodial service, etc.
Consider that for the summer.
I shouldn't have to spend
I shouldn't have to spend money to have to not deal with SD15! If that were the case, I would spend the money to drive 60 miles round trip a day to the company campus and ask them for an office. But why should I have to spend $400/month in extra gas just so DH can continue to be lazy in parenting? I shouldn't, and I won't! She lives here because she got into too much trouble at BM's house, and her stepdad doesn't want that crap around his son. I don't blame him! I don't want it in my house either, but doesn't seem like I have been given any choice in the matter...she's here. Someone needs to parent this child!! I'm seriously considering putting a password on the TV over the summer, so she can't sit in front of it all day.
We also have the problem that SD15 cannot be trusted home alone, because of her trouble. She has questionable friends, her history of drinking and smoking pot...even DH says she cannot be left alone for more than about an hour...tops. He knows he can tell her no friends in the house, no smoking, no drinking, etc...but she will do it anyway if she knows that we will be gone for hours upon hours. Someone couldn't believe in another thread that a 15-year-old would need a babysitter, but when they are a problem...yeah, you cannot leave them home alone! Their friends will steal from you, destroy your home, and they won't care...so you have to have someone there to supervise the kid at all times...and that is where SD15 is at. The couple of times she has been left home for more than an hour, things have ended up broken, and she always blames the pets...even when what is broken is something that there is no way one of the pets did it (like the broken coffee table).
I do keep the door closed to her room. Only problem with the room issue is the pests. I do worry that some of those little critters may find their way to the rest of the house. I've seen the spiders that come out of her room when she screams for DH to come do something about it, and I'm afraid they are recluse. I'm highly allergic to spider bites, and if one of those bite me...I don't even want to think about the reaction and how painful it will be. We do spray for pests, but I also understand that some of these things are immune to the poisons...or develop an immunity over time. This must be the case, because we still get them even when we spray.
Can you get her a volunteer
Can you get her a volunteer position or paid job? Will your DH at least insist on that?
Ooo...a volunteer position!
Ooo...a volunteer position! That could do her some good, especially if she were made to work somewhere where she actually had to do for others! Maybe teach her some humility!
What's worse, is her room is
What's worse, is her room is right by a return for the AC, so if there are any smells coming out of there, they get spread through the entire house! I have to remember to put deodorizers pinned to the return so that my entire house doesn't smell like whatever from her room. Just gross! How can anyone live like that? And she wants BS19's room when he goes to college? HA! So she can have a bigger mess/hoard?
I feel so bad for the future
I feel so bad for the future college roommates of these kids....
Of course...that is assuming
Of course...that is assuming they go to college! I'm pretty certain that SD15 won't. Too much work! And that is if she doesn't end up with a bun in the oven before the end of her senior year, because DH will not check up on where she says she is, and lets her spend all that time with the boyfriend!