Heartbroken but the only way
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My stepson lives out of state ,finishing HS and coming to live with his dad in my house.his plan is to relax and take a few years off,no college or job. We tried all living together over the summer, ut his son was lazy did nothing and i was makibg him 8 meals a day...For this reason, I asked my boyfriend to move out and he did. I miss him every single day,love him and thought wed grow older together.I refuse to live with his son. I have children and I know it don't seem fair, but his son is 18 , I have a daughter, I don't feel comfortable living together. I miss my bf so much. Is anyone else experiencing this?
You did the right thing
Your BF may be wonderful but he is a bad father. Any man who thinks his son is above getting a job or furthering his education and can take 'a few years' off any responsibilities is an idiot. Because his son will be living with him until one of them dies first. Is there a college fund this manchild can tap when he decides what he wants to do?
Now many kids in Great britian, Europe, Australia and New Zealand will tak a 'gap year' before starting Uni. They save up while in high school and work their way around the world doing bar work, nannying, seasonal work etc. But they are more or less self supporting and are adding to their experiences. Imagine this boy in 2 years and another kid in 2 years...Question: You have not worked in the USA for 2 years. What did you do during that time? SS: Well Dad said I could take a couple years off work and school so I stayed in our town and have an excellent working knowledge of Maury and The Peoples Court. This is why I want to be a lawyer. OtherKid: I spent 2 years working around the world. I worked in bauxite mines in Australia, worked as a chair lift operator in Austria, I was a landscape assistant in London for the Chelsea Flower Show. Now it is time to settle down and make a start on my career. Last month I signed up as an intern for our State Governor.
Who do you think will get into law school? Not to mention the effect this useless POS has on your daughter. Yeah we miss the men that got away but wallowing in our misery makes it clear to our daughters we need a man in our lives and we are unable to be happy without them.
I think you made the right decision. No one should be cooking 8 meals a day for some non-relative unless you get well paid for it. Your BF is very unattractive and is creating his own future because no other woman would put up with this kind of parenting.
I am doing this right now. I
I am doing this right now. I move out May 1. I can't be the house cleaner for these slobby useless kids anymore. I can't have his creepy son around my daughter. I hate that SS is around his own sister, but I can't save her, I can only protect my own daughter.
We have agreed to keep dating, and see how it goes. But I need a break from the Skids
Just curious, what make the
Just curious, what make the SS creepy? For example, my SS takes hour long showers and to me, that is just creepy because we know why he's in there so long. I know I'm not being paranoid.I rather be safe than sorry. This entire summer,I had to work from home to never leave them alone. My kids MISS my boyfriend. So do I...but I'm not going to live with SS. He's 18..he should goto college
The hour-long showers! Yes,
The hour-long showers! Yes, we have those. He also loves to walk around the house in just a very short robe. I don't know if he has underwear on underneath. The robe goes to his mid-thighs. He is 6 feet tall and walks around in just a robe.
There two ways into the main kitchen/living area, and he lurks outside one entrance waiting, for what? I don't know. I will hear a noise and turn around and he turns around and walks out of sight! If you ask him what he is doing, it's, "I don't know."
When I first met him he was very inappropriate with women and girls. He would lay his head on any adult woman's breasts. Everyone was creeped out by this but they all said he didn't know what he was doing. But when he did it to me I told him to stop and never do that to anyone again, and he stopped! No one except me has ever told him what is and is not appropriate behavior, and he does not pick that up on his own.
When I met them he would also go and grab girls (including his sisters) butts. Boyfriend said he didn't understand, and when I asked the girls what BM said when he did this, they said that she told them that he would never do that. Completely denied it.
He tried that when he met my daughter - they were all swimming in a pool and he grabbed her butt. She turned around and punched him in the eye so hard it cut it open! He came over crying, saying she hit him, and I called her over, and she told me that he grabbed her butt in her bathing suit. I said, good for you, and turned around and yelled at him. Don't you EVER touch my daughter, or any other girl's butt again. He was mad that she didn't get in trouble for hitting him! I told him I would call the police if he ever touches my daughter.
I've caught him on top of his little sister, wrestling while she screams no. Boyfriend just says they are playing. He is a foot taller and four years older. I HATE leaving him home with her. But BM leaves them every day, alone for hours. He is not alone with my daughter ever.
Creepy! Wrestling with his
Creepy! Wrestling with his sister at that age and that size, that's so innappropriate! And what is he lurking around doing? He's probably waiting for a chance to empty the fridge in his stomach. I'm glad your daughter punched him. I have a son and he is taught to respect women, touching a woman's butt is disrespectful. What's next? My SS enjoys back scratches. His dad ,grandma,aunts,uncles give him back scratches all the time. That's normal for him. Not for me. So I heard SS ask my 10 year old if he knows how to give backscratches. I pulled my 10 year old to the side and confirmed I heard correctly, then I told him he is not to scratch ANYONES back. I went to the bathroom for 3 minutes,and when I came out there is my 10 year old on the couch scratching his back! I wanted to slap ss. I stopped it ASAP and let them know I was pissed and to never ever put their hands on one another in anyway. When I told my boyfriend, he found it complelety normal and cute that they are getting along. I was FREAKED out. I never left them alone, ever,only to literally goto the bathroom.and would leave my 2 together when I showered for 10 minutes ,she's 16 he's 11 ..they know I would beat someone if they were in any way handled inappropriately . I didn't find the back scratching OK. I was super pissed,thinking of it,I get very mad. What does he want to scratch next???? This and many other little things, reassures me, I made the right choice...even though I'm sad now...I miss my boyfriend so much every minute of everyday. He is a wonderful father figure to my children, buy I don't get it..to his own son...its like he doesn't allow growth...he treats him like a toddler.
Time for an anonymous call to
Time for an anonymous call to CPS. Let them deal with this pervy POS and take that step to protect his victimized little sister. This type of thing used to be dealt with in communities with walks to the woods that occassionally would result in a particularly deviant POS not ever being seen again.
Sadly these pervy POS disgusting people now have more rights and protections than their victims.
That your DH serves his daughter up to his disgusting pervy POS son is nauseating.
You are doing the right thing by protecting your daughter and yourself. Take care of you.
Your BF is okay with his son
Your BF is okay with his son taking a few years off and doing nothing but sponging off of others? Okay.
You absolutely did the right thing, asking BF to move out. How ridiculous that he thinks this is okay.
Thank you for reassuring me.
Thank you for reassuring me. As much as I want to live and marry my boyfriend who is such a good sweet loyal guy. I can't have the life I want to have because of his son. It hurts so bad but his son isn't going anywhere....literally
I still struggle to get my
I still struggle to get my head around concept of the proverbial "wonderful" person who is a POS parent. To me those are mutually exclusive characteristics.
Ending any relationship is painful. But... it also represents the kickoff of a new adventure in your life. Embrace that new path, learn from this experience, and never again settle for someone who is not fully wonderful.
You are not doing the wrong thing. If this guy is a POS parent invariably other character flaws will reveal themselves. Move on, take care of you, take care of your kids.
Oddly,he is an amazing father
Oddly,he is an amazing father figure to my children. He does activities with them,us as a family and talks to them,he shows he loves them. When my son came home wth a 70 on the report card, which is unacceptable for me, my boyfriend unplugged the PlayStation. But his son barely passed any of his classes and my boyfriend owed him a pair if Jordan's!!! Just for passing!!! I don't understand the dynamics if this, its obvious my boyfriend may feel some guilt for not living with him now,however,he dismantles this 17 year old....its making this kid get the impression that its OK to just get by in life. That's how I see it.