Hello everyone. Happy New Year! So happy I’ve found this site, so many similar situations. I guess this is a advice/vent. Me and DH have been married for 5 years together 9. 

This week has been the breaking point for me. Me and DH just started the process of buying a house but at this point I’ve decided to back out and take my kids elsewhere. 

The beginning of the end started last year when my mom went by our house to pick up some things. My mom made to the house in time to catch SD bringing her clothes downstairs in a suitcase and answering her phone for a Uber driver. My mom told her she’s not going anywhere. Told the Uber driver that my SD is a minor (16 at the time) and if she got in the car she would be aiding a runaway. Needless to say the Uber driver quickly left.  

This all started because DH and I caught her in a lie days prior resulting in punishment. DH is usually a “Head in the Sand” type of guy but this time the lie involved her skipping classes to be with a 18 yr old boy. 

After hours of talking from literally everyone with the exception of BM. My MIL, who is very no nonsense, said she’s coming to live with her and dared her to try the same  things she does with DH. Well she finished the school year at a school down the street from MIL house without issue. That summer DH swore she would never return to school #1.I said okay, thinking maybe he meant it. I asked in June, July, and the beginning of August if she will be returning to school #1. Every time DH would say no, she would be going to another school completely. Well 2 weeks before school was suppose to start he asked me if it would be a good idea if she goes back to school #1. I laughed and reminded him of what he’s been saying all summer. That started an argument, of course. 

I made a decision after attempted runaway situation that going back was a no go. I found a great school for her that would help her earn college credit. DH told SD about this and she said no. I decided right then she would not go back to school #1. DH was pissed and had to keep her at school #2. MIL was ok with it at first. SD on the other hand, you would have thought someone died when she found out she wasn’t going back. This in turn started the Cold War in my house with DH. He said he had to explain to his family why she was living with MIL vs him. It turned into my fault. That hurt the most. I became the evil SM for something I didn’t do.

MIL has now had her fill and said she loves her but when she graduates she’s gotta go. DH said the same thing, but I know better.

Two weeks ago BM was suppose to take SD for the holidays, clearly that didn’t happen. BM told SD her usual bag of lies. It’s been a fun week of SDs antics, which include daily illnesses, fighting with our 8yr old, and my personal favorite trying to bait me to argue with her. I asked DH what are SD plans after graduating since he said she’s not staying with us and going to live with her mom. He said he never said that and where did that come from? This started another argument. I realized that things aren’t going to get any better and she’s only going to get worse. We went out to dinner the other night and the whole night he griped about her. 

I can be miserable by myself. I thought if I’m out of the picture then I won’t be the scapegoat anymore. Then they can blame each other. My whole time off work has been unbearable and draining. I have other children to raise and I deserve to be happy.