Just wanting some advice on my situation.My partner is a single father and he has 1 daughter who is 11 years old.
he has his daughter full time and she goes to her mothers every second weekend.
I have 2 daughters 3 and 6 yrs old. I havent really grown up with my father and therefore I am unsure if I am just
overreacting or is this relationship between my partner and his daughter not normal.
when i stay at his house she spends hours crying or laying on the bathroom floor upset because she is jelous of
her dad and I spending time together. up until earlier this year my partner and his daughter slept in the same bed together
for years which has now stopped obviously with me and him being together,she crys and acts sick wanting attention.
now that I have come along, she feels left out.some nights he has spent hours laying in her bed to try and get her to settle
and go to sleep and I just lay in bed and wait for him while he cuddles her to sleep.
When we are together around his daughter, any kind of attention he gives me like a hug and kiss, his daughter turns to him
and kisses him on the lips. if we are sitting in the lounge room and he will lean over and hold my hand or show me affection
so his daughter sits on top of his lap and lays on him and gives him a scalp massage. when we are at the shops or anywhere and
we hold hands, his daughter will hold his other hand too. One day I had a sore back and he said he would give me a back massage
ad his daughter turned around and said...why would you give her a massage and not me? I dont understand why she would even expect
her father to give her a massage and I dont think its appropriate for a 11 year old to sit on her fathers lap or lay on top of him.
I dont mind being affectionate with children but i feel like their relationship is a littl over the top.
I just feel extremly uncomtable in her company and the way she is with her father.
Also he calls her bub and he also has been calling me the same and I kinda feel like he treats us the same in the way
being affectionate and calling me and her beautiful and so on. to me I feel like the affection you share with your children
isnt or shouldnt be the same that you show to a partner if you know what I mean.
and also he doesnt see anything wrong with going into the bathroom while his daughter undresses or is having a shower
which I also dont agree with especially when she has started developing breasts and pubic hair.
one day he made me a coffee and she told him to put poison in it and other comments she has made when his mother wished me
a safe trip home, his daughter said..i hope you dont. but he seems to think she is just joking and those things are ok.
Also one day we were hoping in the car and she asked her dad if she could sit in the front ( and me sit in the back seat)
and than she acted up and cried in the backseat after he said no.
anytime we are together she tries to walk in between us, copy any affection he shows towards me andjust follows
him around and always has to hang of him and be affectionate with him.
I have told him that I dont like how i feel when I am around his daughter and it feels like he has 2 girlfriends.
His daughter stayed at her nans one night and spoke to him on the phone and she asked her dad that when she came home,
she didnt want us to have Se* while she was in the house because the bed is to loud. ( i admit the bed is loud,
but for a daughter to tell her dad he isnt allowed to ...) and he wouldnt do it after she asked him.
Also we speak on the phone alot every day but he will not speak to me in the morning before he goes to work or when
he gets home from work until he has put his daughter to bed because it upsets her when we talk because she is jelous.
he says he wont talk to me on the phone because he doesnt get to spend alot of time with her, but I just feel funny knowing
he wont speak to me in her company because that may upset her.
I really do care for my partner alot and I am very happy in our relationship when his daughter isnt there,
but I find it hard to be around her as it makes me feel very uncomftable when she is like this,
I do understand that he isnt showing her all the attention when I am there but we always involve her and dont push her
aside. I feel I make a big effort with her, I have never said anything to her about any of this acting out.
My partner and I want to live together and make this relationship work, but I am worried she may get worse than she is
and I am not going to be happy. Has anyone every dealt with a simular situaion or can give me some honest answers
to know if this kind of relationship is normal between a father and a daughter?