Ex wife will be traveling a few days during the time my DH will be gone. They want me to watch my sd and ex's dog
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UGH! My husband will be gone for work and his ex will be gone a few days during that time as well. So they both just assumed I would care for their 13yr old SD. It's not a big deal but really looking forward to having this time to myself and getting some peace n relaxation before the baby. PLUS the ex has a dog(with daughter) and wants me to watch him as well. I am pregnant, we live in a small house and already have two dogs and a cat. It's just not fair to assume I will gladly take over. If I say NO, then I look like the bad guy and I just don't know what to do! Any advice?
I'm sorry I'd tell them you
I'm sorry I'd tell them you are pregnant and just can't handle an extra dog or a kid. That you need this time to relax. Do you already have the Step mother bad guy crown? If so then I wouldn't worry too much. Seriously.... I would tell them you had already made plans that this just won't work for your schedule. You are not their fall back on guy..... how RUDE to think they wouldn't have to ask.
Really honestly I would just tell your husband that you feel like you have been taken for granted and that it is nice to discuss these types of things. You are pregnant and you as well as HE and his ex ALSO have a life...... and before they go making plans and making you their live in sitter they should be respectful to you and talk with you before assuming. Make them look like the ass.......
thank you! I agree. It's not
thank you! I agree. It's not that I don't want to or care but MAMA needs some time to relax and have some time to reflect. I gotta lot of changes going on and I was really wanting that time to DO NOTHING!
exactly...but they will say
exactly...but they will say that the SD will help...we all know how much a 13yr helps! lol..weather they are your bio or step.
I would look at them and say
I would look at them and say "I was not consulted on SDs care and it is extremely rude to assume that I would be willing to take on a 13 year old and a dog by myself. How about she spends time with a grandparent/aunt/uncle/orphanage? I am planning to use the time to take care of my stress level and prepare for my new baby, and I will not watch SD mainly because I was not considered in the "plans" that you both agreed to without consulting me."
grandparent/aunt/uncle/orphan
grandparent/aunt/uncle/orphanage
>>> ORPHANAGE <<<<<
you are way funny Ommy!!
Well rehearse what you will
Well rehearse what you will say when they say the SD will help. It's not just the dog your tending to. You are tending to a 13 year old GIRL. Girls at that age are not easy. Doesn't she have a friend she can stay with? Or a grandparent? Why not call one of her friends parents and see if they are open to housing her for a few days while BOTH her parents are out of town? And you can be called if there is an emergency. Seriously I love how you get to be parent when its convenient for everyone else... such crap!
AGREEE! AND I am not going to
AGREEE! AND I am not going to feel guilty. That is my problem. They manipulate the situation and then I fall in the GUILT trip. NOT fair, NOT my problem. AGREE!
You should have fainted when
You should have fainted when the subject came up.
Well too late now - I'd pull the pregnant card and claim exhaustion or whatever seems appropriate.
Or just say you're po'ed about not being consulted.
Whenever someone just assumes
Whenever someone just assumes I will do something, ESPECIALLY when it inconveniences me, my immediate reaction is No. Just because you disrespected me by assuming.
I think you need to start addressing this NOW, before your baby is born. You can't force DH to consider you in these situations (and to hell with the ex she doesnt even factor as I would laugh in her face for her rudeness) but YOU can idenfity your achilles heel that DH uses against you. You mention guilt, thats a pretty powerful emotion and I am guessing DH likes to press that button when it comes to situations like these. Thing is you are enabling DH to continue taking advantage of you, he assumes then BM assumes, next it will sd. Your DH is setting you up to fail with this behaviour and its only going to get harder when baby is born.
In this instance I think it would have been a massive stretch for DH to even *ask* and consult with you prior to any arrangements, seeing as you are already pregnant and have several pets and the house to look after in DH's absence.
I would be pointing out who will be looking after and helping YOU out? SD can hardly walk three dogs on her own and most tasks require some sort of adult supervision, meaning you. So that is little help.
As for dumping an extra animal on you in addition to a kid! FFS. Ridiculous, its far too much work.
I would also tell DH that unless he improves his treatment of you then the next time he asks or assumes (more like it) the answer will certainly be NO.
I made it clear to both
I made it clear to both parties that it was not fair that I was put in this position. My dh agreed and explained to the bm. I said I could watch her a couple days. Which is fine. Bm said that's great and she'll find a place for her to stay the other days. Although now she's claiming she misread my email wrong and forgot to follow up with someone to watch her. Seriously? I said this is so not fair!
It's a lie. Just say well I
It's a lie. Just say well I already have plans now. Figure it out without me