In order of events

1- we have been asking SD17 to come over for the last month to talk and also to go through her things and take out what she wanted, she said for US to do it for her because we are moving out of state.

2- DH messaged her and told her NO you come over and go through it yourself, We set up a time and date for her to do so. then she messaged us back with a list of things she wanted to keep. so we agreed to go through it and take those things out for her to go through and to get rid of everything else

3- Not wanting to wait to get things done packing and moving and we were having a rummage sale she never mentioned her movies or wanting to keep them, so they were sold the next day

4- 3 days later we get a message from her saying she wants the movies as well. we message her back explaining we had already gone through her stuff, taken out the things she said she wanted plus other things we set aside for her and the movies were sold.

5- She got upset and said she wanted the money from them, We told her no she was not getting the money from them, she should have told us when we asked her and the rest she told us to get rid of and do what we wanted with. we reminded her that since she was claiming she was such an adult that her choices have consquences. live and learn life lesson- DH agreed with me.

6- she got ticked and told us she did not have to listen to us, come over, and did not want to talk to us. that made DH ticked off and this time he put his foot down with her.

We are moving, Taking her things over to her BM's house

DH and I's marriage has improved, He treats me like his wife again. We now communicate, I feel more relaxed, I am conflicted because I do feel like she is punishing her dad for wanting to be with me. I however am NOT going to put up with disrespect, She basically told me to shut up and not even say a word about anything if she came over. That ticked her father off, He told her , Shes my wife and he told SD17 she needed to grown up!