Confused
O.K. i new here and looking for advise. Kinda a long story so bear with me. I married my wife 6 years ago and I love my wife. Before we meet she had a drug issue and her daughter lived with her father. Shortly after we married sd wanted to come live with us, no problem she was 9 at that time. Things went fine for a few years until sd went to highschool. Her grage went downhill fast and all she does is talk on cell phone. Her and I have never had a close relationship. So I see her having troubles in school with grades fighting and disrespect to teachers. SD mother will not dicipline child just talk to her. So earlier in the year my wife relapsed on pill and was arrested on 16 felony counts. Now I am totaly against drugs and was very upset. Told wife that we would get help with her problem and we have.Since then wife's mother passed away and the sd went wild. She is now 15 and failing every class and is in trouble for fighting and missing too much school. Her mother lets her smoke and allows sd to be in relationship with a 19 year old man, any she is having sex with this man. Last week we had a big blow up over a dam ashtray that I found in her room. Well I left the house for the way wife and sd treated me. Now sd refuses to talk to me and mother doesnt want me to come home because sd doesnt want me to. My wife blames me for the way sd has turned out. My question is should I cut my losses and move on or should I try to make this work even though sd wont talk to me and mother says she will not subject sd to me. any advise would be great because I dont know what to do... Thanks
cut them and run. its
cut them and run. its apparent they dont want you there. you did nothing to that child. its her moms fault.
What's your choice. You've
What's your choice. You've been told off.
Listen these guys prefer their lives of substance abuses over you so let them have it.
Frankly after all you've described I'm wondering why you even ask the question. I would be thankful I didn't have to leave of my own accord with the accompanying guilt. Take advantage of this opportunity to get out of a lose/lose situation while you can.
Do you really think you can do some good by going back. You know better or you wouldn't be here.
I'm with the other
I'm with the other two....don't walk away, RUN, as fast as you can and start divorce proceedings asap.
Your wife KNOWS how anti-drug you are (not meant to be negative on you, I'm that way as well, BTW--bravo to you for sticking to your beliefs!) Your wife is having issues with her mother's passing, issues with her daughter's antics/attitude and doesn't want to include you in her life to help her deal with those issues. It appears she's clear in wanting to choose her daughter's opinion of the marriage over her opinion.
How your wife can blame YOU for the way her daughter is turning out is beyond me, from what you've written. How is it your fault that she lets her daughter smoke at age 15, have sex with a 19 year old boy, etc? She's in charge of her child, and the SD's father should also be held accountable.
Head back there to pack your stuff and start a new year as a lesson learned. Look out for yourself and YOUR needs, you are so worth so much more than what you have received. Keep that in mind as you deal with the future. You are worth it to regain your dignity.
Oh, and welcome to steptalk!
~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~
Oh there is really no
Oh there is really no question here - you don't need any of these problems, run for your life!
It is completely ridiculous that YOU are blamed for the kid's problems instead of her PARENT, and 16 felonies are going to send someone away for YEARS it sounds like. Re-claim YOUR LIFE and put all this behind you.
Best wishes to you and welcome to StepTalk!
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