Bio Mom playing games again

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I need you help trying to figure something out…
Bio Mom quit school and job and isn’t working and is spending most of her time at her parent’s camp where she can live life free and clear.
She has not been home in over 3 weeks now. Memorial Day weekend, we met her in at the half way point to get Step Daughter and at that time she just wanted step daughter to stay with us for the next week… I said no, we work and it is her custodial time so she needed to be with her, so she had her neighbor, who was going up to spend the weekend at camp bring step daughter to camp. This past week was her custodial weeks vacation with the step daughter. She was to go on vacation to the beach but something
happened between Bio Mom and her boyfriend and she cancelled the beach and just took Step Daughter vacation week at camp while boyfriend went to the beach with his family.

Anyway, she brought her back to us yesterday morning for Father’s Day and will be with us until Wednesday but since yesterday morning we have found out from Step Daughter that Bio Moms was leaving to go back to camp this morning and will not be returning until after the 4th of July. Step Daughter is to be with her from Wednesday until Saturday morning… when she is with us from Saturday morning until Wednesday again. The issue is Bio Mom wanted Step Daughter to stay with us from yesterday all this week and weekend until next Wednesday, my husband said no, we are sticking to the schedule – but Bio Mom is sneaky many different levels and has played this that she doesn't have to have Step Daughter for a week so she doesn't have to come back from camp, you know since she doesn't work and mooches off her parents and step daughters support. In other words we are going to be forced to keep her until next Wednesday… they she is going to want her to stay up there for the weekend of the 4th of July (when her sister and family will be in for the holiday and look like the perfect mother) because we will have her for so many days… Oh, did I mention she did the same thing the week of Mother's day? Right, she said she wasn't coming home and that she was just to spend the time with us? Mother's day?

So, I said last night….Tuesday night, since we both work Wednesday, he either drives her to Camp or tells Bio Mom to meet him half way and gives Step Daughter back for her custodial time.
If she says no, then he files for full custody and has the child support dropped.

Or do we just let her stay Bio mom gets her way once again? Instead of the kid realizing once again that no one wants to have her around?

We are kind of going through

We are kind of going through this. BM has recently gotten a job and just assumed the kids will come to our house during her custody time during the day. DH could of enforced it and made her keep them and figure out what to do with them and prove a point to BM to handle her business.

But who does it hurt? The kids. As much as I want BM to put on her big girl panties and be a woman and figure out daycare like I have done with my Bios for years, she just can't. DH will always think of the kids first and take them any chance he gets.

Yes, I would prefer they are not roaming my house while DH is sleeping (he's 3rd shift) and I'm at work, but what choice do we have? BM doesn't even really have a place to take them. She is currently staying in the basement of an old woman she barely knows.

I guess my decision to marry this man has it's consequences, and this is one of them.

This is exactly what I am

This is exactly what I am talking about. We made the choice to get involved but we didn't have the children, not is it our responsibility to care for children. Bio mom sits poolside drinking her parent beer with her friends while I go to work to cover her kids health insurance and braces? Bio mom can't even spend Mother's Day with her kid cause that would require her driving back from her life vacation? So now I have to share my Mother's day with my bio kids with my SD, and while that didn't bother me, who says it didn't both my bio kids

Who is hurting, yes the child.. but honestly it not doing much good for my marriage either. I literally have zero respect for him anymore. If I don't bitch and moan about the situation he would never have a backbone. He is a door mat and who wants to be marriage to a doormat that goes to work and expects you to entertain his child?

I am just disgusted with everything anymore. Bio mom is useless. Bio Dad is a whimp. SD is a smart ass and I am stuck.

Yup. I feel ya sista. I get

Yup. I feel ya sista. I get so bitter and disgusted at BM who lives like this and DH who allows it to go on, because it's "for the kids" Take tonight, they were at the house all day, probably trashing it. He was sleeping. BM started her new job today, I don't have a clue if they are getting picked up, staying for dinner, nothing.

I was just debating texting DH and asking what the deal is tonight, but I don't even want his response, he would text back either "I dunno" or "Why?" Either way, it will piss me off.

I'll just be surprised when I get home.

yes, yes, yes... I get so

yes, yes, yes... I get so pissed off. They allow the BM to do whatever, Skids to lounge around all day, and yet we have to accommodate, adjust, work and get pissed all over. It is so exhausting.
DH was home yesterday, his day off... no dinner ready, him and SD looking at me and says, are you hungry? I was, but I said, no not really. What's for dinner? Maybe you could make salads. They hate salads, guess they were thinking filet. hahahaha

Any chance BM lost her house

Any chance BM lost her house and that's why she's staying at the camp so much? I think your DH should take all the extra time BM doesn't want but that's because in our situation BM never gives DH extra time. SS is "hers" and she'd rather leave him with a baby sitter.

I want to say - take

I want to say - take SuperJews advice..... file for emergency custody papers, cause BM dumped her kid and does not have a place to stay, with that drop CS.... but then I'm thinking.. poor you as SM will sit 24/7 with this brat and that's not going to be fun.....

I would simple get SD in the car, drive all the way to the camp and drop SD off and tell BM, as per CO this is your week cherio... then drive off... next visit BM can drive all the way to your house to drop SD off }:)

I left work yesterday and

I left work yesterday and called DH. He informed me that he reached out to BM, believe me only because I was freaking out, and she told him, she gave SD two choices: 1, to stay at her house with her boyfriend while she was at camp or 2. stay with the neighbor since we had to work and said that wouldn't work for us. DH asked why wasn't the choice given on coming to camp and spending time with her? BM responded because the boyfriend was driving her up to camp, she was going to be without a car, because the boyfriend has his kids for a few days and the boyfriends car is out of inspection, registration and without insurance... so he has been using her car and leaving her without a mode of transportation. DH told her that is not our problem and she needs to be able to adhere to the CO. BM then responded well she couldn't drive back and forth (camp is 2 hours away) because it cost too much. DH stated, well get a job. So from what DH told me they are driving up to camp to go to the boyfriend court hearing, then back home so they can get SD tomorrow. She needs to back to us on Saturday morning by 8.

I have plans Saturday morning, so I hope she is there on time otherwise I am leaving without them. It get exhausting to rearrange your life all the time for people who have no respect and just expect you to cater to them. I refuse to drive 2 hours to get her. I absolutely refuse to waste my time with my bio kids to drive 4 hours back and forth to get my SD because her BM is too lazy to do what she is supposed to do. I refuse to do it. DH works weekends. So everything always falls on my shoulders to reschedule, rearrange and adjust... I am not doing it anymore. It is bad enough I carry the health insurance, pay for the braces, get the birthday presents, Christmas presents and BM just sits back and stays at camp portraying the poster parent. Please! SD told both of us last Thursday, she never even saw her BM all day, she was gone to be with her camp friends when SD woke up. Never came back to the camper all day? Nice vacation with your kid.

She didn't lose her house. Her 82 y/o Dad and her bought the house together, his name is on it too. Her Dad would never allow for her to go without, but he is 82. She is the baby and never has held anything but a part time job. She has worked at a bakery, pizza shop, school as a lunch lady ... but never make a career for herself or means of financially taking care of her child. Since we have been together, she has not even purchased SD clothing. The Grandparents pay for everything on BM side. If it is something that needs to be split between BM and DH... it is split between DH and grandparents. BM get a free ride. I go to work, cover health insurance and BM sits by the pool.

I feel for you. I never

I feel for you. I never really know what's up, either. It bugs me... but it doesn't bug me that much, because it doesn't really affect me all that much at the end of the day.

I don't drive the kid around, I don't pick him up anywhere, I don't have him dropped off to me, I don't babysit him.

At best the effects on me are that a child-sized portion of the food I'm making is now going to him, whatever plans SO and I have to do things around the house are slowed down because kid wants to 'help' (He can help SO. lol), or plans outside the house have to be delayed for an hour or so. It's annoying... but not anger worthy. It could happen that way even if he was mine and the sitter was late.

It does bother me that I do more for the kid than BM does. It bothers me because she gets all the recognition - not that I need recognition, but I do need for her not to claim mine.

You're married, yes... but that doesn't mean SD is now your responsibility.

I made a ton of mistakes from

I made a ton of mistakes from the very beginning. DH needed someone to help with the SD, get her off to school, weekends, overall girly things... I had dreams of this perfect little blended family. Boy was I wrong. SD only ate chicken fries and mac-n-cheese. My bio kids didn't eat mac-n-cheese or remotely come close to a chicken fry. Looking back, it was me who did everything wrong. It was DH who expected me to do it and me who actually did it... no wonder BM and DH act the way they do ... I allowed for it to happen for so long. BUT finally, I just couldn't take it any longer. Not my kid, not my responsibility... I love her, but I am not her parent and I will no longer sit back and allow for the Bios to get away with everything while I am the adult taking care of everyone.

This has seriously effected my marriage. I am not even sure we have a true marriage. We have a convenience for him and his child. My kids could care less ... they actually might like life better if it was just the 3 of us again. I might like life better.

I made a ton of mistakes from

To keep everyone up to date

To keep everyone up to date on the Mother of the year or Mother of the Summer statistics: Over the last 92 days she has only been with her Mother 28 of those days!

My husband as 50/50 joint custody and pays child support ... and we have had the SD 70% of the time over the course of the last 90+ days.

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Bio Mom playing games again