Hi! I’m new here and need to lose about 15 pounds. I’m also stressed because I will have to be one-on-one in the near future with my husband’s ex-wife. So, of course, I want to look good! I guess you could say I need some Women’s MENTAL Health advice!! (sorry, this is long!)

My hubby and his ex (let’s call her Carly) have a child together. Carly is not crazy or bitter…in fact, she seems like a woman I would be friends with if circumstances were different. The problem is, we have never really talked to each other. My hubby and I have been together for 10 years, and I have barely spoken more than a few words to Carly. “Hello”, “yes”, and “no” have been the extent of it. At some point in the last 10 years, I started getting the vibe that she really disliked me.

And here’s where it gets worse: About 5 years ago I had to be at a birthday party for their child, which meant being in the same room with Carly’s family. I was petrified! I was sure these people disliked me since their daughter obviously did. I made a point of staying in the kitchen, away from Carly’s family, and avoided any chance of being introduced to them. I was sick to my stomach the entire party. The whole thing was childish on my part, but I can’t go back and change what happened.

Flash forward to another event 3 years later, my step-daughter’s graduation. I knew that Carly wanted to take pictures with my husband and their daughter after the ceremony. Again, I was sick to my stomach just thinking about having to bare her dirty looks. I also knew that I would be standing on the sidelines, watching Carly take pictures with my family while I stood and watched. So, I did another childish thing, and excused myself after the ceremony and avoided the whole ordeal.

Things are even worse to date. My husband tells me that Carly thinks I dislike her because of something I said or did years ago…but he won’t tell me what it is! So here we are, I think she hates me, and she thinks I hate her. And now we have to be alone together at a very special event for my step-daughter. All my husband says is to “be nice”.

I don’t know what to do! Any advice on how to fix things BEFORE the big event? Is this even fixable? I feel sick already.

(P.S. – I am also an ex-wife, and have always gone above and beyond to make my ex-husband’s new girlfriend feel welcome. I don’t ever want any of the women in his life to feel the way I do with Carly…..uninvited!)