3 weeks and counting
22 Days without SD in our home so far. DH did his obligatory text to his daughter yesteday "You are welcome to come to my house, I am home" he then sent one to BM so that she can see that is is asking and her response "Make sure you text her too, and she was really hurt that you didn't responsed to her text about the pool"
I was thinking "Bitch you could very easily have told her about what DH said at the school meeting"
So he put the phone down and said he did what he had too. I was like "You should respond to your daughter about the deal with the pool" So he did, he wrote "The deal with the pool is that this is a privilege that you can earn based on your actions and behavior" well he got radio silence from then on and looking at SD's Instagram it appears BM brought her to the ocean so what does she need to work towards. Sorry we don't need to be graced with her presence and having her use of. She seems to forget the last time she was in our home we had to call the cops on her and she flipped us off as she got in her mothers car.
Today DH is going to take a tour of the theraputic school that SD will be attending. I am pretty sure BM and SD will be there too, I can only imagine the mood he will be in later.
Good for him. The only power
Good for him. The only power the alienated parent has in this situation is his own reactions to to it - and groveling and buying your kid demonstrates powerlessness; whereas holding a boundary commands respect.
Oh, and stop looking at SD's instagram, you will just make yourself nuts.
I have the same issue with hubby
he was grovelling
now skids go awol for 3-4 months dead silence and hubby will message them “hey how are you” standard response is “good been very busy”
how is it a sd who works just mins walking distance from hubby can’t maintain contact yet i am in regular contact with my dad who lives overseas over 4000kms away. We are separated by an ocean and i am always in regular contact...
i asked hubby what does he expect grovelling to his kids, they know they hold all the power and manipulate him even more and treat us even more like shit. I disengaged since november last year
I know this, but its the only
I know this, but its the only way we know what is happening when she is not in our home. Both SD and BM lie about everything.
I get it, we kept an eye on
I get it, we kept an eye on SS's gaming profile(s) when he was alienated. He doesn't do social media, but we could learn a surprising amount from those profiles.
But, it kind of made me nuts, which is why I suggested not looking at it. The best thing YOU can do for YOURSELF is to let go of this and let it be DH's problem. You can be sad for him that he has this awful problem, but you don't have to take it on.
I know how hard that is, and I did it myself with varying degrees of success.
That is the thing I am having
That is the thing I am having a very hard time removing myself from the situation. DH doesn't use social media so he wont have access to these things and not everything do I share with him except the fact that she has posted a lot of post on VSCO about pot and blunts etc. Like I dont want him being blind to all of the going-ons. But I 100% agree with you and I am working on the mental reset not to drive myself nuts
So funny that I just popped
So funny that I just popped in here for a second and the blog I read is about a pool. I am sitting here fuming over the same thing. I had asked DH this morning if he reached out to SD16 to get together to talk before we go on our little trip next week, and he showed me his texts where he has sent one every day with no reaponse... other than last week when she said which friend she is taking on our trip (after telling DH 2 weeks ago that she wants nothing to do with him)....and there was one text the next day asking if our pool is open. So, like your SD, mine appears to be being opportunistic. I am trying to imagine in what universe someone thinks it is ok to say mean things and then not respond or acknowledge their parent for weeks BUT they want to bring friends (I assume) to use the pool at said parent's home. And if the parent is not ok with that, they are the bad guy. So frustrating. I am feeling some of your pain, sorry you are going through this
it's some level of
it's some level of entitlement that doesnt make sense to me. I am not sure where she gets this "I don't respond to my dad unless I am asking a question that will benefit me" but then gets burt hurt when DH says screw it this doesn't require a response. She doesn't want us to know any of her friends (because we will judge the deliquents she hangs out with) but a couple months ago was like "Trinity needs to meet you guys so she can come swim here this summer" WHAT I have been telling you to have friends over for the last 9 months and you state you dont want them to meet us. I don't think so honey !
Right, during SD's last
Right, during SD's last tirade she accused DH of saying he ignores her calls sometimes....he has never done that, and if he ever said it, which he doesn't remember, it was probably in a sarcastic/joking way when talking about how she really does ignore his calls and texts. There is a huge double standard, SD and BM can act and treat us however they want, but if we show a hint of standing up or disagreeing, we are attacked and made to feel like we are in the wrong. I am over it and most definitely don't feel like having someone like that lounging around my house at the pool. If that makes me selfish I guess that is what I will be!
Amen Sister! I understand 100
Amen Sister! I understand 100% . BM wants us to kiss SD's ass because she does, because she will get screamed at by SD for hours and then take her shopping to smooth it over. Sorry our house doesn't work that way
SD wants nothing to do with
SD wants nothing to do with our home, she only wants what we can give her. We both work very hard, this time of year DH is working 6 day weeks and Sundays are for gardening, local activities and home projects. We do not go on trips to the beach until he is done with his 6 day work weeks. She wants to come to our home if we are DOING things. BM is a slob, who lives in a crappy apartment with no need to care for things around her, she has a lot of free time. We don't sorry SD that you have to be entertained ALL the time, that you have to have money spent on you ALL the time.