After forgiving the stepdaughters repeatedly (I'm sure the details are in my other blogs), I can't find it in my heart to forgive them again. Scratch that. Maybe I could forgive them, but I can't subject myself or my children to their cruelty and hatred and vulgarity again. I've never wanted SO to have to choose between me and his children, even though "You've choose her and her kids over us" has been thrown at him again and again. I UNDERSTAND the love of a parent for their children. I could NEVER choose ANYONE over my own kids. I know he loves them, forgives them, and wants to spend time with them. But while he's spending time with them, the "gold-digging, psychotic, whore, bitch" that is "still sleeping with her ex husband" and "using her children's tuition money to buy a pool" is sitting at home with her children that spend "all of daddy's money" (but really wear hand-me-downs and ask for nothing but kindness and love)and feeling really alone and betrayed. Who AM I???? I don't want to feel this way.