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I'm new here and in need of some advice. I'm 51 and I have raised my nine children, my oldest is 30 youngest is 20. I remarried a man five years younger who has a nine year autistic son. My husband has made it clear I have to babysit his son that it is my responsibility, if I refuse he says then I have to leave. I get different behavior from his son, he throws tantrums if I tell him something yet he minds his dad, I'm feeling torn if it would be best for me to just leave as the autism and my husbands drinking is way to much, any input would be greatly appreciated.
Rachelann why did you marry
Rachelann why did you marry this man? He is an alcoholic and sounds abusive.
You should make it clear to
You should make it clear to your DICtator Husband that HIS son is HIS and the BIO MOM's responsiblity. NOT YOURS. Period.
This 'man' is no prize. Love yourself enough to get out of this sham of a marriage.
You raised and launched NINE
You raised and launched NINE children only to be saddled with a 9-year-old who (through no fault of his own if he has autism) will likely never launch?! And his a-hole father? Nope. If he says "do it or leave", well, leave.
Why on earth does he think
Why on earth does he think this is your responsibility? Does he pay 100% of the bills and thinks this is part of what you are to contribute (newsflash.. even if he is paying.. you should still be a party to deciding terms like this).
I will be honest, a drunk jerk making demands that I deal with his difficult son would be pretty hard to take.. doesn't sound very loving or kind.
I think you would be better off moving out and leaving him to deal with his own responsibilities.. and he can troll for another 'sucker' to watch his kid.
You know what to do
Your DH told you. Go and leave those two to live by themselves
What are you torn about
What are you torn about exactly? Leave this jerk and go enjoy what I assume are multiple grandchildren. 9 kids in 10 years! Clearly you are a strong woman, no need for a guy like this. You are young, too, find a man with grown kids and enjoy the rest of your life. Or stay single and get cats. Anything but spend your time with this man.
So LEAVE. This sounds like a
So LEAVE. This sounds like a raw deal, and your husband sounds like he's more interested in a babysitter than a partner. He's given you the road map out of his life - follow it!
My husband has made it clear
My husband has made it clear I have to babysit his son that it is my responsibility, if I refuse he says then I have to leave.
Oh, this is rich. I'm afraid I would just have to leave. It's pretty obvious what he wants you for. Sorry.
I've been with my DH for 24 years, since his daughter was 5. I've watched her one time, for 4 hours. Which, by the way, he ASKED me if I would, when he had to work for half a day during his weekend.
Your husband is a tool. And, maybe an alcoholic? The two don't go well together.
LEAVE please for your own
LEAVE please for your own sanity. You deserve a better life you don't need to babysit a boy who is not yours and a abussive husband.
When this failed father "told
When this failed father "told" you that you had to watch his son or get out .... you should have immediateluy told him to F-off and moved on with your life.
If his failed prior family spawn is capable of listening to his father then he and his father are capable of listening to you. You do not need them, they need you and since neither of them respects you or gives enough of a crap about you to treat you with the respect they should, write them both off.
Do yourself that favor and get on with your life. You are young and do not need this failed man and his shallow and polluted gene pool in your life.
Think of what your own 9 children are experiencing seeing this POS and his failed family spawn treat their mother like crap.
Up your standards for your 3rd DH, this guy is a POS.
This has nothing to do with this kid being special needs. It has everything to do with your idiot husband being a crappy mate and a crappy father.