Hi,
I'm so glad I found this site as I was really beginning to think I was alone in dealing with this kind of problem.

O.K so I married my husband last July and we met a yr before that when ss was 1. He is not a loveable child and wasn't even then but I didn't have any issues with him at that age. As he got older though he started to really dislike me, and all I can put it down to is because he thinks I took his daddy away. I thought he would grow out of it though so I married my husband and we have recently had a little girl together. This is pretty much when I couldn't take his behavoir any longer.
He is just a pain in the arse. He doesn't listen to anyone and thinks he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He is spoilt rotten by his BM and his grandparents and his dad. His dad spends more money on him than our daughter and has a go at me if I want to buy her something. his dad rarely tells him off which leaves me to do this, which only makes my ss like me less. He manipulates, and only plays up when I am around but his dad refuses to see any of this and thinks he is a lovely little boy. He knows how to cause arguements between my husband and I and actually sits smiling when we do argue. I realise he is only 3 and a half but this child has a very mean streak when it comes to me. I am well aware he wants the time spent at our house (every fri to mon) to be just him and his dad, but again his dad will not see any of this. He gives me evil looks and makes up stories about me to his dad so his dad has a go at me.
I have tried to tell his dad exactly how I feel but his dad says I am the adult and I should try to get along with him. He thinks I should be happy to spend every weekend with him (when his BM goes out drinking). I looked over it the best I could when I didnt have my daughter but now she is here she gets no quality time with her dad as all his time is spent looking after my ss's every little need. When I tried to suggest having one weekend a month just us he flipped and said I can get along with his son and love him or he will leave me. I have got to the point where I dont know why I am putting up with this. He wont see anything from my point of view. He is a fantisist who thinks everyone loves his son as much as he does. When in reality everyone I know asks how I put up with my ss, as he is such a nightmare. All this said when my ss is not here my husband and I get on like a house on fire, and I love him to death and respect my mariage vowes but what else can I try? My husband thinks every issue I have is my fault, at times he makes me think I am a crazy horrible step mother, and a pretty awful person. I dont want to be looked at like this or even worse be made to think myself as this kind of person. I dont want this child to come between myself and my husband. I want our daughter ro have a happily married mum and dad. What can I do to change things?