what happend after ss 12 humped girl on bus...
So after ss sex assualted girl on bus by humping her, he has been on lock down at both houses.
...or at least ours... i suspect bm isnt holdin up her end of the deal.... he blames his behavior on his former step dads refusal to see him. His mom and former sd of 11 years separated in january. A week afterwards his mom was engaged to her boyfriend of 5 years. (Yeah... i know what you are thinking. Messed up right?). Well.... former sd doesnt want to see him bc ss treated sd poorly (like he does to me) for years. I get the impression bm didnt give much of a hoot that ss treated sd poorly. Well honest, i cant blame former sd. If i were him, i wouldnt see him either. Truth be told its prob a relief to be rid of the kid. We even informed ss that this is the consequences for treatin people badly.
A week after the humping incident he was suspended for rippin up.hjs art project in art class. And this morning, after a weekend of wondering why bs4 was using the word pussies in coralation to a womans genetalia, bs came clean and told me ss has been continuing to tell him zombie stores (explains why bs wont sleep alone) and that ss has been teaching him about womens "pussies and how when they pee somethjgn comes out to pee and goes back in and thar sharks have big pussies and kitties have little pussies. Im pissed. I asked dh not to leave ss alone with bs for anything. Dh sd he tt ss and let him know he is trusting ss. Wtf???!!! Especially at night. I work second shift. We cant live without my pay check for me to justbbe home to police the bs. Idk what tobdo.... how to i ensure that when im gone ss isnt alone with bs? What can i do? Is this sever enough to strong arm dh and bm to file charges against ss? Even at risk of losong dh forever? I td dh tonight they need not share rooms anymore. We only have two bedroom right now. Getting a 3 br home isnt possible at this moment but hopefully soon... dh let me lay into ss who denied the whole thing. Dh sd nothing. He is tok angry right now. I told ss he is a danger. I consider him our son and i wouldnt cast out my son if he were like this. I dont have the heart to ban him and i doubt dh would stand for it..
I live very far away from family to pack up bs and stay with relatives to send a message that our home is unsafe with ss in it? I worry what ss will do next...
*YOUR* child is your first
*YOUR* child is your first responsibility, not ss. SS has two parents, and if they drop the ball on parenting him, it's not yours to pick up. However, if you allow this to continue, there is no doubt in my mind that it will escalate; just b/c ss's parent's dropped the ball doesn't give you an excuse to do the same to your child. Please, I beg you, do not sacrifice your own son at the alter of your marriage/DH's feeling/ss's issues.
Yes, your husband is your first priority, but you are supposed to be his as well. And part of your being a priority to him means that he should be properly handling his responsibilities, namely, his son. He isn't doing that, and yours is suffering.
I told dh today to figure out
I told dh today to figure out what he and bm are doing with ss.
As for job, i work in healthcare. I have been and will continue to bid on other shifts
Im kicking aroumd asking the dr for a stress leave if bm and dh dont take this seriously. The onlybway i can afford to leave is to gobto a shelter...
Having been a treatment specialist for juv. Sex offenders i know all too well the bullshit they pull. Im very worried about what could happen next. The place we have right now has a partially finished basement. Its clean enough to put a bed in. No mold or anything. Could easily be a finished basement. I asked dh to reconsider moving ss into basement and we can put down a rug and etc to spiff it up a bit. And bc ss is untrus worthy to be that far away frombus we can get out the baby monitors. In mean time im moving bs bed into our room. If they dont have a plan by days end, i think im gonna request bs stay with someone else when ss is over. Ive begged bp's to put ss back in psychotherapy but i havent heard anyhig yet. Dh found that we can put ss in juvy for weekend anymore . But we can pay to have him go before a judge. We are waiting for courts to findout when. Idk if ss will make it with out heading there for real n not just a scare. Dh told me this morin he really thought he could trust ss but hearing what ss told bs really broke his trust. And he is very worried. He sd last night ss went to bed first and bs slept on couch until dh went to bed. Luckily ss is a heavy sleeper. I woke up to dh telling me to take ss to school bc he had to go to work early. Ss was a jerk to me and i yelled at him the whole time. I hate that...
What Foxie said. AND why are
What Foxie said. AND why are you doing ANYTHING for SS? Your DH certainly is in denial "telling" you to take SS to school. I would make it very clear that you are doing NOTHING for that kid ... NOTHING!
Took ss to school bc dh was
Took ss to school bc dh was called into work early. Dh called juv. courts around here. They are still working on the court date to hopefully scare ss straight. While they agree the "pussy" education issue is alarming they sd there is nothing to report until ss physically harms bs. We are working on a plan to get things under control at our home. Even if it means ss cannot stay unless we are both around for awhile. Ive suggest my inlaws or a friend take bs when ss is over until bed time. Ivr conviced dh.that boys will no longer sgare a room. We just got the 50/50 a few months ago
Before that ss wasnt over much and there wasnt a need for a separate bedroom. Dh is trying.really hard.to stand up.to ss alpt more lately. He is a good dad and a great husband. Despite his faults. I believe he is struggling like every birth parent would with disbelief. He is very angry ss proved he is a concern in his own home. Im thankful it was a poor form of sex ed before it was somethig worse. I do care for ss very much. Im sadden he has made some poor choices. I wouldnt kick my own kid out and to have to make that decision would come with a heavy heart. Still pushing for therapy. Unfortunatly prents have joint custodial rights so both have to agree to the therapy. Ive offered once again to take ss to and from the appointments and pay them myself to get him help. Somewhere inside that kid is a good kid. Ive seen him. As much as i want to somedays, i dont want to turn my back on him. Not yet.
Bm has beeen looking at military bording schools. The price tag is huge but we are trying for scholarships right now. Perhaps that would be a solid turn around???
What you all said: Morning
What you all said:
Morning ladies,
Oh man, Iam versed in this area. It's too long to tell the story & breaks my heart to even think about it.
So, I won't get into it. But, the signs are there that someone may have done something to your SS12. Where did it come from, would be my first question. He definitely needs therapy. The angry behavior at the SDad may say something more... leave no stone unturned. I have been thru this with my kids & it turned out to be my friends Husband that was a pedifile. No one could have ever guessed he was either. It took a long time to come out & he had hurt more than 9 by the time he was caught. The true number of victims has never come out.
Guess I had to get into it. At the time my exH blamed, blamed, everyone and the pervert was someone he had grown up with.
Please offer SS12 support before conclusion jumping. This is only guess work on my part, could be way off?
Dh and i have wondered same.
Dh and i have wondered same. Bm keeps saying his fomer step dad was unfair she doesnt say how. Ss used to be a sweethart until a little over four years ago. He has never told a therapist he was hurt. Never thought about former sd. Would make sense as to why therapy was stopped by bm everytime they would start to talk about family life with her.
Would make sense as to why he disrespects women. Maybe mom knew??? I saw that alot with my former job. I just never thought it would hit close to home.
But about that time, i was pregnant. I always blamed myself and the changes i brought to life at his dads. Also about that time there was a girl at his daycare who was awful sweet with him. For lacl of a better way to put it, she was eventually kicked out. While daycare lady sd thwy were never alone or out of her sight ive wondered if he was and by who. We have stressed with him before and lately again that if anyone has hurt him to speak up. I deeply hope he wasnt. I want to hope he has budded into puberty a little early and doesnt know the proper way to deal with his sexual feelings.. i know it sounds crazy but what does one do with a tough child? My own would be in therapy regularly. I am starting the little one asap. While he says nobody has hurt him, i want him to be able to successfully cope with ss behaviour.