ok, its doubtful anyone is familiar with my last post quite some time ago so i'll briefly explain. i'm 27 married for 4 years or so 8 year old step daughter 1 year old bio daughter and pregnant with less then a month to go on yet another daughter. but i am here so my problem is with my step daughter. she hates me. this isnt some overly dramatic cry for help but true openly stated hatred. weird part i am ok with that i married her dad and changed how things were there and her real mom left long before me so it understandable that she can put the blame on me. her bio mom had a slew of phycological issues and myt step daughter sees a therapist who says she has an undefined personalty disorder which most likely bud into something worse in the teen year, like bi-polar.so i have backed off with thing to "parent" since anything i try to make her do, like homework or eat dinner, become something she feels she must fight. but now she has started acting worse at school and stealing at home only from me or from my young daughter. she tells me she steals from me because she hates me and i have "stolen" from her. the stealing i do she says is when she is refuses to clean her room so i eventually i have to do it and anything i cant find a place for i box up and put in the garage. anyway she sneaks into my room and takes makeup or other small things that cant be mistaken for anyone else and destroys them. takes them to the yard and filled them with dirt or breaks them if possible. then yesterday she stole my babys shampoo and did the same thing. my husband told me to ignore when she took my stuff that is wasnt that big of a deal and if we ignore it it might stop. you know if she doesnt get a reaction then she'll quit. and i think that is why she started taking from the baby, i can ignore her wronging my but not my baby. i did bring it up and she just tells me i deserve it and she hates me. at school she has always had social troubles but recently has escalated. she calls her teacher fat and stupid refuses to participate in school and has slapped pinched and tackled other student. we have tried working with her therapists, tried the schools plan of giving her more responsibility . as well as countless threats and bribes to just try to get her to act slightly more well behaved. hating school is normal hating your stepmom is normal. trying to physically cause them harm seems off. at least for an 8 year old who has been acting like this for years. btw her dad is here and does all her punishing so i dont have to, but her does work 3rd shift so sleeps most of the day and is gone all night.

so heres my question, what do i do? i am not organized enough to hide all my stuff all the time she is home and i cant follow her around at school. not allowed and hey i'm 9 months preg with a 1 year old. she is going to spend some time with her grandma after school is out, hoping that with "mellow" her. but until then how can i stop her from hurting people at school physically and emotionally, and stealing anything of mine not nailed down. just need some ideas... my mom her teachers and her therapist are all out of ideas...