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I hate being a step parent

Frustrated21's picture

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. With so little gratitude for everything I do for them, and how demanding they are of me.

Their BM died 17 years ago just after my SD was born. And there are twin boys who are 21 almost 22. I've known them since they were 6.

Now that the boys are out of the house it's just my SD and my DH. We are now expecting our first and I'm just worried that they will all react negatively about it.

They seem to have a rediculous idea of how we do things and they're completely unreasonable and very childish about everything.

Had I known all this going in even though my husband is great, I don't feel like all this stress and complication is worth it.

buttercup123's picture

Congrats on expecting. Focus on your unborn child, your SDs are adults. Ignore. The worst is over. If they don't like that you are having a kid, too bad.

alwaysme's picture

I agree with Buttercup, they are adults so who cares what they think, you have given them half of your life and it is about time you consider yourself, they are gone, you didnt say how old SD is but let your husband deal with her, you have your own child coming so look after yourself and it.
Congrats

Stepmom2Ched's picture

First of all, Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Secondly, With the age they are, gratitude really isn't in their vocabulary or mindset. It basically comes when they become a parent or after age 30, whichever comes first!!!

Of course they think all your ideas are ridiculous. If they didn't, they wouldn't be NORMAL!! Haven't you heard of that joke, "I got rid of my set of encyclopedias...I have a teenager who seems to know it all!" Until THEY become parents, they'll think you are B-O-R-I-N-G...square, WRONG WRONG WRONG. Until they become responsible for their own lives, they'll never understand WHY you do the things the way you do. It's natural for them to do this, not anything you or hubby did in raising them.

Focus on the positive--you are becoming a Mama!! Whatever they think about their new sibling is entirely THEIR problem. Please realize you have absolutely NO CONTROL over how they will feel. Again, enjoy your pregnancy and don't let the turkeys get you down, so they say!

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~

Angel72's picture

congrats! and focus on your baby. if they dont like, their tough, not yours. They are adults now, If they cannot be happy for you , then they are real putzes! Dont worry about them. You've done them no wrong, u raised them when their mother died and there is nothing wrong in you being pregnant and having a child.
For you to worry about them acting negative most likely stems from the fact that you have given them alot and now they realize that you will focus onthe baby and not them. Well too bad! They have left the nest, and sd will soon be out of the nest too. That is life. We all grow up and have to be adults eh?
Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy and focus onthe new life ahead of you. If they cannot enjoy that for you, then they have issues not you. Stop worrying what they think. it doesnt' matter.

Purpleflower09's picture

I like to make things as stress free with my little family. Although my DH kids do not live with us yet, when they come to visit I have this " it's either black or white" attitude. You either do your chores or there is major consequences kind of deal. There is no "grey" area when it comes to parent and child - at least not in my world..i could be wrong.

Your step kids can either be a part of this new little family your about to have or they are not. If they chose to be, they respect you and you husband and new child. If they don't want to then they should seek alternative living arrangments. I would dicusss my concernes with DH and have HIM address HIS children and lay it down firm that "this is the way its going to be..either hop on board or let the ship sail" kind of deal. Like I have said once before in a previous post..you have to lay it out for them to play it out..no if's, and's or buts' about it.

Purpleflower