SD BM thad does NOTHING!
Hi!
I need to vent.. My SD BM does nothing to help us. She refuses to drive to come get her daughter when it's time for her to have her. She pays nothing for her daughter, while my DH and I pay for EVERYTHING. The school district she lives is in not great, so we have to pay for my SD to attend a private school $700 a month!! Where we live the schools are great, my children go to our public schools, but she refuses to let my SD go there because she thinks we are 'taking her away'. Which is not true, she would have her during the week and on school days. She just wants her in a private school that she refuses to pay, but of course, my husband has zero backbone with my SD BM. She also wants her in dance, that she does not pay for, we do. We pay for her school, her clothes, her dance, anything and everything, she helps with nothing. She does not work she is a stay at home mom that is bulimic and an alcoholic. My husband and I both work full time to support our family. We also have to pay my SD BM phone bill so that my husband can communicate with his daughter. We also pay for my SD BM entertainment, like Netflix. She has access to our Netflix account..
My husband wont listen to me. We shouldn't be paying all this while she helps with nothing. She is lazy and always complains on us about not attending church one Sunday for my SD.
I am so frustrated and I feel like my husband is always defending my SD BM.
Am I just being selfish?
Easy solution STOP PAYING FOR
Easy solution STOP PAYING FOR ANYTHING EXCEPT CS unless it is otherwise ordered in the CO.
If BM won't come pick the kid up from your house... she stays at your house. No more tuition. BM can pay it. No more dance class money... BM can pay it.
This isn't rocket science.
Separate your funds if you're
Separate your funds if you're not comfortable paying for your stepdaughter. A lot of BMs are lazy and don't do anything for their kids. You'll see that as a reoccuring theme on here. BM in our case doesn't pay child support and has never offered even a dime towards her daughter. But my husband and I pay for everything because we don't want her to go without just because she has a crap mother. That's my choice, though, and if I wasn't comfortable with it, I would keep my money in a separate account.
But you have to remember, just because BM is lazy and doesn't want to provide for her child, doesn't mean DH shouldn't. He's the one who chose an irresponsible woman to reproduce with, and quite honestly, if she doesn't help out, it's up to him to make sure his daughter still gets what she needs. He should NOT deprive her because you don't want him paying for things. Just make sure YOU aren't paying for things, if you don't want to, but he chose BM at one point so he's gotta live with the fact that he's gotta support his daughter 100% since she won't.