Long story short - BD and BM had a horrible divorce. BM turned 3 kids against BD and settled in court 1 year later. Several years later I meet BD and we do everything right. Date 6+ months first before any child meets the other person, gradually do "family dates" together, then get married. We make the wedding a family intimate destination event - kids are in the wedding. Since the divorce, BM refuses to get a job. Lived off alimony and child support. Has BF that she meet online in World of Warcraft move in with no job that is an alcoholic, abusive to middle child. After 3 years, alimony stops and money gets really tight. BM is very negative about our house "what happens at dad's stays at dad's." BM continues to refuse work. She is addicted to a computer game, playing World of Warcraft for 16+ hours a day. Kids complain of the house being gross, no food, kids left at school because mom has a raid online, etc. Middle child asks to move in with us. Mom lets her go, after 6 months we got back to court to reduce child support. Mom demands middle child back. BF moves out for the 3rd and final time. Court rules middle child stays with us and child support reduced/ BM pay child support. Then the oldest moves in with us (he just turned 18). Youngest wants to move in with us, but is afraid of mom. Middle child was still doing visitations with mom but refuses when mom announces she moved a family into her room, moved her items to her old brothers room. Middle child panics, BM fights with her, tries to lock her in the house with new family, and she runs away - never has visits with BM again. Youngest decides she wants to move with us - back to court. Court gave emergency custody of youngest child and child support stopped. BM gets a job, meets another BF online. BF comes down to meet youngest child on her birthday (2 hours). BM takes BD to court, claims rape in the past, forgery on paperwork that cost her money, reports bogus charges to several legal entities, and make it a nightmare for BD - he is in a professional profession which takes these claims seriously. 3 months pass and BM picks up youngest for summer visits with new BF. Youngest panics when she arrives to house to find boxes. BM announces she is moving 500 miles away with BF, she is coming with them, it's going to be an adventure, how exciting! BM, BF, and Youngest go out for dinner, she is panicking, begging BM to not do this to her, BM tries to force her into the car with BF, and youngest see's me (SM) driving in the parking lot at a shopping center, she runs away after my car. I don't see her, she hides for BM, calls me and begs me to pick her up. I turn around and pick her up. BM is in front of our house, youngest is crying, I turn around and go to my parents. Text BM that youngest is with me and as soon as she calms down, I'll have her contact BM. BM said I abducted her and she would call police. Youngest refuses to see or speak to BM ever again. BM goes to school carnival, attempts to force youngest into her car, school police stop her, call us, and we pick up youngest at school. BM take us to court, tries to get BD in jail for failure for visitations. BM settles on 5 sessions of counseling paid by us, and agrees children have rights to choose. BM wanted instant visitation after 5 sessions - kids not ready to go to BM new home with stranger. Counselor recommend more sessions, but no word from BM since those sessions. BM shuns kids. Doesn't' call, text, e-mail, or try. Oldest has tried to have relationship with BM but in college. Middle wants relationship, but BM only wants to see youngest. Middle is truly effected by this rejection. Youngest asks what she should do, but still feels like she can't trust BM. We don't talk negatively about BM, support kids with their decisions, but do you support a relationship? Counseling is good but one-sided. BM posts all kinds of happy things on FB with her new family, but doesn't contact kids. I have tried to encourage some contact, but kids are lost. Middle is becoming a nightmare - rebellious and slutty. I know she is looking for love in all the wrong places. Youngest is sad, but seems to be doing much better since last year. I'm exhausted.