In a way, my prayers & posts are similar because I'm describing things (to you on ST) and requesting resolutions & harmony (from God). Both communications provide pressure-relief for me, and help me to go on and focus on other things in life, and help me maintain a grateful attitude rather thsn an anger/resentment party. 

I wish I had more patience for dysfunction. I think that’s how marriages last. People have to be ok with dysfunction. Why I’ve stayed for over two years? I think for the company and the sex. He also helps me a lot with DD. I also enjoy my relationships with his extended relatives. His math for the future always depends on how old SD is. It’s her age minus 18 until we are free of problems. The other kids are no problem. I will hang on for a little bit longer but not forever. 

I couldn't keep going,

I had to leave. 

What keeps me going now is knowing I did the right thing- there have been no messages of any meaning from theX- if he misses me (and he must, as I do him) then he has not communicated that to me and after four months I doubt he ever will.

What keeps me going now?

My work- I enjoy it more, do it better, because I need to.

My friends-invaluable loyalty, humour and total acceptance of my position.

My family, again total loyalty ,a smidgen of craziness, but heaps and heaps of love that I had never realised I missed.

My faith and belief in that, for reasons best known to the Almighty, it was the right thing to do.

My sense of self worth- that I would not spend a minute longer in the company of a man who brought no joy to  my life.

And the wonderful people on here, to whom I turned when I felt so lost and bewildered, but who made me believe in myself again and have the courage to make the choices I needed to make.

The reminder that this is not infinite. Eventually the bubble will burst and everything will fall where it will and life will go on. Eventually BM will hold no value in our lives and SS will have made his choice one way or the other. While I hope we will have a symbiotic relationship with both by the time SS is an adult, I don't have high hopes and I will always keep my BS as my priority when it comes to protecting him from Steplife fall out. 

My love for DH, disengagemnt, and the fact that we work things out. The SDs are rarely around, SS19 has been home twice in the last year (since joining the Army), and PigPen doesn't always come for the entire weekend. It's gotten much better!

As and, of course, STalk!!!

When things were at their worst with the SDs and my DH was fawning on them at my expense, then this site kept me going.  Things changed in 2013 and DH had a bit of a Eureka moment and realised how his daughters were playing him.  

He regrets how he allowed them and NPD BM to treat me, and things are a lot better since they stopped coming EOW.  I wouldn't say it "keeps me going" but I get a lot of schadenfreude now from looking at NPD BM's car crash life. 

At the moment nothing is keeping me going. The relationship is miserable. How much longer can I wait for things to improve

My love for DH, the company and the love making. Its no secret a good man is hard to find especially one who loves you and isnt using you and playing games. DH is a good man and a good dad to our boy and i would sacrifice my happiness for my boy to grow up with his dad, they have a perfect relationship and i dont want to mess that up. I am also hoping for a change, that one day BM will take her child and relocate to a far away country or our finances balance and we can afford to send SS to boarding school.

This site...

My love for and ability to communicate with my DH (most of the time) 

my DHs...um...skills ;-) 

And, to be brutally honest. The love and respect and appreciation that my in-laws have for me...and knowing that they plan to leave us / me a lot of money. That may sound horrible...but I couldn’t afford my husband if his parents weren’t there with their yearly gift and that safety net...as much as I might love him...

SO is my soulmate, I never believed in soulmates but I knew he was "the one who got away", no man ever measured up to him. After life dragged us apart and we got through a bad marriage each(his abusive enough to cause ptsd) we ended up back together and married. His grown/almost grown children have severe issues from their dysfunctional upbringing but SO works hard to listen and work together with me and puts our marriage first. It took lots of therapy, compassion and patience to help him see many of the issues with his children and learn how to deal with them. Stress triggers his epilepsy and he realized many seizures occurred immediately after dealing with his kids' drama and abuse. I've watched him work hard and I've seen that my input is important to him. If neither of those were true I wouldn't be so willing to work through these things. I have a feeling his kids are always going to give me reason to post here but he is very worth it to me. Having a place to vent really helps!!

I love my DH. We have a great life together. Sure, he makes me crazy. And he's made me crazy to the point where I considered leaving the marriage, over a couple of different issues, and he knew it. But we've worked through them, with the help of good therapists. If DH hadn't been willing to do the hard work to get his head on straight, I would have been gone. We both put the marriage first, and we're ridiculously happy.

My bride and I are a team.  She is incredible.  She makes me a better man and I try every day to show her what she is to me.  That just about sums it up for me.

That and I am stubborn.

I am comfortable with DH and our life together.  We have future plans as a couple that do no include ss's. It pisses ss33 off that I took DH's name and we are happy together, in a way that spurs me on >:-)

What has kept me going?

My love for DH but probably more importantly, his love for me. He adores me and literally treats me the same as he did 21+ years ago. He is my best friend...with benefits.

My SD has never really been a problem in our relationship. If anything was going to cause me to run, it would have been BM. But DH has always kept his promise that he would not let her use their daughter to manipulate him. So, as much trouble as she has tried to cause, she has never succeeded in causing a rift between us.

My firm belief that my wife and I are supposed to be together is what keeps me going.  We've been friends since we were kids, and found each other again after our previous relationships imploded.  We took separate paths in the early part of our lives, but somehow found each other again.  For as long as I've known her, I've known she is someone I could always go to.  When my 20-year marriage was falling apart, and I was flabbergasted at what my crazy ex was doing, it was my friend (now my wife) that helped guide me out of that craziness.  My ex was gaslighting the hell out of me, and my wife saw right through it.  Somehow, I just knew she could point me in the right direction, and she did.

I'll never forget how nervous and excited I was when my wife and I met again for the first time after being apart for so many years.  We still lived in different states at the time.  I flew her here to spend a week with me around New Year's.  I stood in the airport, and watched her plane pull up to the gate.  I was so nervous and excited that my hands were shaking.  She had to come down a small escalator to get inside the airport.  I stood at the base of the escalator, watching people's feet, then their legs, then the rest of them, waiting for one of those people to be her.  It finally was.  She looked at me, and I looked at her, and that was it.  She said "hi baby", I gave her a hug and a kiss, and we held hands as we walked out of the aiport.  We were like two gears that finally found what we're supposed to fit into.  We've since traveled all over the world, and have had a lot of fun making up for lost time.   

My wife's youngest son has tried every trick he can think of to break us apart.  He hasn't been successful.  I'm so disengaged from him now that he isn't really even on my radar.  My wife and I are happy, she now deals with her son without pulling me into the middle of his tornado, and our marriage is on solid ground.      

Just reminding myself where it's all coming from (where OSD and SIL are concerned) 

I spent so many years trying so hard to have decent relationships with them and filled with so much hurt, confusion and anger at their rejection and constant need to humiliate me in any way they could

When I finally caught on that their behaviours were all based on insecure jealous competitiveness and that it wasn't that I didn't measure up or was lacking somehow but just the opposite, just my presense in DH's life made them feel like THEY didn't measure up or were somehow inferior, I stopped feeling bad about myself or humilated by their actions any longer

Now I simply hold my head high, at every outright immature, nasty and vengeful thing they do

I also stopped caring a long time ago what they think of me, or anything at all about them or their lives to be honest

Since my FIL passed away, I hear absolutely nothing about what is going on in their lives, I have pretty much no contact and I'm a whole lot less stressed these days!

I have no job, my degree is totally obsolete and all my work experience was in an industry that disappeared when the Internet came.

I am so goddamn stuck.

I haven't answered this because it's thought-provoking. 

What keeps me going:

• I love DH.  He's kind, smart (yes, really), and wants to do good.  He treats me very well overall.
• DH is learning.  He's working on his issues, has a counsellor.  He's helping me more and more.
• SD12 is a great kid.  I could care less right now about SD14, but SD12 has always been a good kid and it's going to be nice seeing her grow up.
• DH and I can talk - there's not much resentment that builds up because we can see it happening with each other and we'll have it out.
• I like just doing things with DH, most things anyway. 
• My sister is a great listener - she's not a SM but she gets it.
• Two of my good friends are SMs and have been through the teen issues - albeit with boys but they give good feedback and advice.
• My kitties!  They are always glad to see me, love me, and snuggle when necessary. They don't talk back much unless I've messed up by not petting them enough.  Unconditional loves.
• I really like where we live and I have a good job.  However, once SD12 is 18 and moves out (I expect she'll be with us still by then) then we are going to re-evaluate our needs together. DH will be that much closer to retirement (but he'll never be able to due to $$) age and it'll be another stage for us.