Week out of town...
I had a business trip out of town, Friday noon till the following Saturday night.
DW had her kids thru Monday, then off to their dad's for the rest of the week. House all to herself! *
* Of course, the SKids were coming by every morning and afternoon, and of the food I bought DW before I left, the SKids cherry picked it and left her without food!
FINALLY, DW got to experience what I have been telling her is a problem, and she got to feel the pinch. So she texted her ex and explained that while she's out of work with a bad shoulder and some surgery recovery/rehab, we're on one income, and he needs to provide for his kids because they had been getting dropped of by his new wife at 0645, eating breakfast at our house, then making lunches with our stuff - and then after school, he wasn't picking them up till 8 pm, so they were basically eating all three meals at our place on HIS week! And now, all she had left was crackers and black olives LOL... He told her they shouldn't be doing that because he provides everything (though I gather it's stuff teens might not like as much as the cool stuff I buy). So he said he'd talk to them...
When they went over the next time, they were down in the dumps. "Dad says we can't eat here anymorrrrrre..." HAHAHAHAHAHA, well, JEEZ, I'm sure he didn't say THAT, but the point is, SUPERDAD needs to step up and do the right thing. Not just "buy the prisoners something to eat," but maybe sit them down and ASK them WHAT THEY ALL WANT. Work with them, negotiate, set limits and boundaries, stuff like that... I honestly think he thinks it's a kid problem, not a parenting problem. "Can't be ME! I feed them (health foods they're quickly bored by because your SDaughter is a HOG)! I put a roof over their heads (that's all dressed out and their SMom insists it always look like it's about to go on the market and the kids can't decorate with their own personal touches)! I take them places (when it's convenient for ME)! I keep them clothed (in designer stuff that they can't play in)!
He's kinda clueless...
Java, why did she let it go
Java, why did she let it go until she was down to crackers and olives?? Or were they pilfering the pantry without her knowledge?
Not for certain...
...I was in Atlanta. But I think it is mostly bc she's sort of out of it with her shoulder surgery and doesn't "helicopter parent" them when they come over every morning and afternoon. I also know for a fact that these kids HAVE taken food I bought for US, over to their dad's house. Which is why I stopped buying for these kids a while back (recall my other threads). So I'm not sure.
Wait, I'm confused. Are you
Wait, I'm confused. Are you complaining that the bio father has a nice house, buys the kids nice clothes and feeds them healthy foods? Those are odd complaints to make about the ex.
Ha, nope!
Anything but that! He buys them stuff that they don't like, and they don't eat it. They're typical kids taking the path of least resistance.
We eat nutritious food. I actually cook, so does DW. DW's ex gets Lean Cuisine TV dinners because his wife is a bit of a porker (and her 12-YO daughter is looking like a trucker, can't really be certain of her gender just looking at her), and they're trying to eat right over there. Problem is, if they have anything nice over there, his wife and the girl have ZERO self-restraint and will plow through a whole effing bag of Doritos in one sitting. So, I get his situation...
The SKids are both active and thin, don't need Lean Cuisine, but that's what they are fed over there. I'm the one saying they need to stick with that on his weeks (or tell him they want something they like, or to have their SMom stop confiscating their special stuff that they like because their SS will seek and destroy). THEY NEED TO FIX IT THERE, NOT TAKE FROM OURS. But DW didn't want to press her ex like that, so I stopped treating them. And for this week, while the SKids were going to be gone, I bought DW some groceries to float her the week along with a few goodies for her kids for snacks after school, but the SKids did a major grab and gobbled down a bunch of stuff intended for DW.
I am not
understanding the complaint. My kids have been expected since they were little to eat what they are served, keep their space clean, help keep the house clean and honestly, until they were old enough to care, to wear what I bought for them. And even after they cared, they still wore what I purchased. He isn't clueless, he has a different set a rules for his home. No one HAS to negotiate with their kids, your wife chooses to and he chooses not to.
INDEED!
I was offered two choices for dinner as a kid: Take it or leave it. Mom was a good cook, and there we were. We had to ask for a snack, and only when we were allowed, did we actually take. Rationale was we might be about to eat a meal, and we didn't want to come to the table already full.
DW is 180 degrees out, and it's a pain.
I do think their dad is more like I am in that there are rules, and they will be obeyed. I suppose it's more of a guy thing, though I know it's not by gender or age bracket.