Hey guys! I'm completely new to this blog and dating a man with a child in general so i would love your help in setting boundaries and sorting my feelings properly. 
 

i met my SO in April 2020 and things really moved fast. We moved in together within 3 months of meeting and i met his 8 year old son around that time. The first time i met his son, he stayed over for a week straight which honestly was a lot for me because i do not have any children. He has his son every other weekend and i quickly realized that i needed a gradual introduction to this aspect of the relationship because i was feeling incredibly overwhelmed during each weekend visit. 
 

my SO is truly an amazing man and his son is very nice. No problems there. But i do feel like we moved in too soon and i was not prepared to be around a child so frequently and in more intimate spaces. 
 

Here is where things get a little more complicated. When we first got together his ex wife friended me on Facebook and would make small talk with me. I thought that was odd, but i didn't think too much of it at the time. When i first met his don, i told my SO to give his ex wife my number. He asked "why" and i explained to him that i thought it would be prudent to give his ex access to me since her child is at my house. He said ok, but never gave her my number. I also suggested that he should arrange a meet up between me and his ex just to encourage harmony. I asked him in august 2020 and to this day we still have not met.  My SO left on a deployment for 6 months and my parents suggested that i continue to build a relationship with his son while he was gone. I asked my SO and he said the ex wife and him were both ok with me taking their son to my nephews birthday party in November (i asked about this in June). November comes, and i send his ex a Facebook message (we correspond on Facebook) to check her temperature about having her son around kids in light of the pandemic. She never responds. Instead, my SO calls me to tell me that she doesn't feel comfortable with her son being alone with me. I understand her position, but her son has been coming over to my house for a year and she knows I'm with him by myself at times. That's just weird. Get off my facebook! lol But i move on. now since she doesn't feel comfortable, i don't feel comfortable with having the son at the house for extended periods of time. Am i wrong? 
 

here is a little more background. 1). They divorced around 2 years ago. She wanted the divorce, he didn't. 2). He said he would make things work with his ex for the sake of the child. Now he's assured me that he wants to be with me, but that didn't rub me the right way, that coupled with the fact that he moved in with his ex girlfriend within 3 months as well and me thinking we moved too fast in the first place is causing me to want to establish some boundaries within our relationship so i don't feel "uncomfortable" as well. Essentially I'm trying to disengage before engaging again. We are not married and I'm not ready to build a relationship with son or have to deal with ex in any capacity. It's too soon. How can i effectively disengage?

 Help me to navigate this situation please