Yesterday was the final straw for me. I have a SD who is 12 YO. Her father and I have very different styles of parenting than her mother. Her mom is the "I want to be your friend first" type and her father and I are more strict and demand respect. A few months ago she asked for a long board. Her dad got her one and told her that if she wanted to ride it that she needed to wear a helmet. It's a huge thing in our house especially with a 6 and 2 year old. I'm guessing when she goes to her moms house that she doesn't need to wear a helmet because when she comes back here and she's asked to wear one, she completely disregards it. So yesterday when I saw her riding it without a helmet, I asked her nicely and reminded her that if she needed wanted to ride it that she needed to wear a helmet. This request was met with some annoyance and instead of putting a helmet on, she stopped riding it. Fast forward a few hours later, I see her riding down a hill on her longboard, WITH NO HELEMT. that's when I lose it. I demanded she come inside and speak to her dad about her unwillingness to wear the helmet. Then he lost his mind and yelled at her (which I 100% believe she deserved). We never spank our kids but this probably would have been one of those instances. She runs out of the house crying and calls her mom. She comes and picks her up and I tell her dad that she needs to come back to our house because she's being completely unreasonable. There's more to the story but I'll stop there for now. I don't know if I should step back and say "I'm done being a step parent" and disengage or demand she respect our rules.