Holidaying with SS
Hi all,
Please help. I haw recently become a new step mum. I met my partner approx 10 months ago, it all moved very fast. I was aware he had a child at the time but because of my feeling towards my partner I decided that I could live with it. The son is 8 and lives a week with his Mum and a week with his Dad. Now we are on our first holiday together and I'm about to pull my hair out!!!!!!! I want to cry and scream every day. My partner puts his child first, always. Which kills me. I always feel like an outsider. If I mention any of his behaviours my partner will always defend his child and criticise me. The child is a spoilt only child brat who has never heard the word no. My partner has started showing his son all the love and care in the world and I barely get a thing. His child lies, complains, is on his device with the sound up so loud 24/7 and has extremely annoying habits which my partner doesn't address. It was looking like we were going to get engaged soon and start trying for a child of our own, but now I just don't know. Does anyone have any recommendations on what I should do? I love my partner so much and honestly thought he was the one but after this holiday I honestly don't know. I feel like I can't even communicate with him either because he just gets so defensive. But I don't want to end the relationship. Arghhhhh
Yes, run.
Yes, run.
Love isn't enough to hold together a relationship. You may love this man, but he shows you very little respect or care 50% of the time. That's going to do nothing but build resentment as time goes on.
Just your losses while you're still early in this relationship.
Love is not always enough.
Love is not always enough. Loving him so much, will not overcome him making you feel like you don't matter.
He treats you like this, at only 10 months in, just wait until you have been together for a couple of years, or are married. He will REALLY take you for granted, then, once he sees that you are, in fact, going to put up with this treatment.
He needs to stay single, so he can concentrate solely on his precious, and you need to find someone who knows how to be a partner.
You should be in the
You should be in the honeymoon phase of your relationship and already he's treating you like an old married partner. Not good.
FWIW, when men who have children move so fast it's often (always?) because they're looking for a new mum for their children which translates loosely as they want someone to take the child raising off their hands. You do not fit this bill so it's probably not going to be long before he either starts making various threats to try and get you into line or dumps you. Thnik this through - does he expect you to pick them up, take care of them when he's not there? Expect you to do their laundry? Tidy their rooms? Prepare their lunches? Be available for them at all times? Does he go out and leave you with them in the evenings? Expect you to finance their outings?
Is this what you want in a partner? I bet it's not. In that case, chalk the ten months up to experience and dump the leech and his offspring now. You deserve so much better than this.