Will if one parent is to die
God knows if I was to die before my spouse I would want my spouse to make sure my kids get the things I want them to have just as I am sure he wants his child to get things if heaven forbid he was to die. Well today we wrote up and agreed to a set of things we expect the other one of us to provide for my kids and his kid.
You always hear of step kids being left out if the bio parent dies and I would never want my kids no be forgotten, i worked hard and made money before we were married and after marriage and so has my husband and i know we both would want our kids to not suffer if the other was to die
I wanted to write this up for long time but keep putting off cause who likes to talk about this stuff but I think it's so important. If you write up a plan discuss agree and sign I believe there is more of a chance that your kids will get what you want them to have.
It felt so good to make this plan up today.
On this will I put things like 1st pay off house and any loans so you know you can live without the two incomes anymore cause you don't want spouse to suffer either.
Kids college gets paid for so money set aside in acct and the bio parents of our kids does not have access to since these other bio will get RSDI if kids under 18 which the kids are too.
We put other things in it to but college was the big one.
But when you consider all the life insurance , 401k , ect there will be a lot of money available and I know I would want my kids to have at least some of it.
There would be no way I would
There would be no way I would leave it to BM or my kids dad . I trust my husband would set up acct tell the kids we have college money ect for them since they are getting older and he will handle it for them or give the acct info to one of my siblings to handle
I don't know but I think you
I don't know but I think you should have something or at least talk about it . whos to say if you die and your bios go live with their father that they get nothing you worked for and your spouse and skid get stuff and money you want for your child. we all hope the step parent steps up and does what is right but too often they dont and I think if you don't discuss or put in writing you will not know. Heck my husband nor I would have to honor what we agreed on today Since the remining living spouse gets it all but i can only have faith and hope he would and he has to have faith in me that I would too do right by the kid left behind at least we both know and want the same .
I know the kids go to birth
I know the kids go to birth parent that was not really an issue for me anyway. Just want my DH to help them out if the time comes as I would help his kid out. My kids dad can not take money that technically is not in my child's name my husband or sibling would control it.
A will is not enough and can
A will is not enough and can be contested by anyone. In addition to the will you will want to set up a trust and specify who the trustees are, the successor trustees and how the trust is to be used. You do not want the money to get into the hands of the ex. While I would assume your DH would be the trustee if you were to die and vice versa, what if you die at the same time? Any money deemed to the children would actually be controlled by their surviving birth parent UNLESS you have a trust set up. I might suggest having a neutral person be assigned trustee in lieu of either one of you. As another poster said, as much as you hope a stepparent does the right thing, they don't always. My grandfather remarried years ago. After his death, my step-grandmother took everything, sold the house and the furniture and disappeared from our lives. She never even asked my mother or her siblings if there was anything of sentimental value in the house that they wanted. Just sold it all. My grandmother is probably rolling over in her grave.
That has already been done
That has already been done too a will can be hand written and signed you do not need to have an atty do it at least an atty friend of mine told me this. As long as written by hand and signed. I made sure money would go to my sibling to handle for my kids and give to them when they are fit to handle it. The bio parent has RSDI money to take care of kids which is more then enough. That is if me and DH would die at same time. My real concern is if separate deaths. I trust my spouse and I was just saying I think if you discuss it and agree the spouse is more likely to honor your wishes.
Too many people treat a death
Too many people treat a death in the family as Christmas,, all those "disengaged" step_____ or bio come out of the woodwork.. Thinking their owed something because their related, when they couldnt pick the phone up and call on Fathers day or birthdays.. IMO the surviving spouse should be the sole heir to any insurance, savings, checking, MM, stocks, etc.. (not counting items that might mean something to a bio-family member). Maybe greed will cut dont on the kids treating their parents like poop..
I've set up a trust for dh
I've set up a trust for dh and a separate one for my kids. Dh will live off the interest. Kids will get my 401k, 50k each immediately, sums at major life events, the principle at ages 30, 35, 40, 50. And the principal from dhs trust after he passes. Dh will live in our home until he sells it, or dies. at which time it goes to my kids. I'm leaving nothing to his kids. He's leaving nothing to mine. Nearly everything in the home is mine. The few items his kids care about he doesn't care to give them any longer, he has selected eCh of my kids to get some of his things. Again, I'm not leaving anything to his kids. I'll give them his things when I feel like it. If we die together, we will call it him dieting first. So his estate goes to me, and my estate goes to my kids. His kids get Jack.