Reading forums and blogs its clear a lot of us feel unimportant in our marriage. Why do we feel that? And why did they bother if that's the way they feel???
This is totally TRUE!
I can relate to -"most cases if there is an ex wife and a new wife then there is no quiet life because ex wives feel entitled to certain things from their ex husbands and because they have children with him they often feel more entitled to his time, money and attention than the second wife"
&
"Men on the whole want to ignore the situation, it's 'let's all try to get along' and they try to passify the Bm by meeting her demands. This just fuels the Bm into ever increasing wants, needs and expectations, then when he takes it away by standing up for himself/us then all hell is let loose."
You took the words away. Will definitely keep this, in case I may need to articulate my concerns, hope you dont mind!
I've begun to hold out my hand for cash when SS or DH leaves dishes and garbage all over. I say something like, "Thanks but no thanks, I don't need job security, but good hard cash is always nice" and then hold out my hand. They are slowly getting the picture. The other day when ss16 cleaned his room and left a huge sinkful of crusty dishes I knocked on his clean room door and opened and said I think washing the dishes he left in the sink will take an hour and I charge $15 an hour, and then held out my hand. He shoved past me and did the dishes. I just smiled and went on with things. I am realizing daily that not only am I NOT the MAID, I am teaching the kids to be good adults and DH won't be sloppy for the rest of our life together. Win win scenerio!!
So basically these kids are cleverer than us at getting their own way?? Hmmmm, plenty of men out there with money that are would possibly appreciate me more. Not sure if I can be bothered with the dating thing again. Saying that this marriage things not much fun either. Good luck to however you all cope.
I have been married for 2 years. My wife has a 13 and 9 year old from a past marriage. I feel like all I do is cook and pick up their crap. Yes, all 3 of them. I don't feel like a man anymore. Just a slave. When they talk to their dad on the phone, I am not super step dad. I am not even mentioned when I play with them or take them somewhere. It is like I don't exist. I like to cook. It is a passion of mine, but not when nobody cares. I am thinking of throwing in the towel. Any thoughts?
Do you love your wife txcolt? Does she support you and validate your feelings? Do you want to have a status with the kids and be mentioned? I never wanted that. I don't care if they think of me as a step mom or not. If you have a good relationship with your wife don't throw in the towel. Talk to her. Go to counseling if she will. If not, you go. The kids are not going to be around forever and eventually will move out.
It's more than just a nanny and sex...It wouldn't be tough for an average guy to hire a nanny and get laid out in the real world....and be a lot cheaper,no stepkids to deal with,etc.,etc. !!!!!
This is totally TRUE! I can
This is totally TRUE!
I can relate to -"most cases if there is an ex wife and a new wife then there is no quiet life because ex wives feel entitled to certain things from their ex husbands and because they have children with him they often feel more entitled to his time, money and attention than the second wife"
&
"Men on the whole want to ignore the situation, it's 'let's all try to get along' and they try to passify the Bm by meeting her demands. This just fuels the Bm into ever increasing wants, needs and expectations, then when he takes it away by standing up for himself/us then all hell is let loose."
You took the words away. Will definitely keep this, in case I may need to articulate my concerns, hope you dont mind!
Absolutely don't mind. Hoping
Absolutely don't mind. Hoping someone can cast some light on my confusion!!!
I've begun to hold out my
I've begun to hold out my hand for cash when SS or DH leaves dishes and garbage all over. I say something like, "Thanks but no thanks, I don't need job security, but good hard cash is always nice" and then hold out my hand. They are slowly getting the picture. The other day when ss16 cleaned his room and left a huge sinkful of crusty dishes I knocked on his clean room door and opened and said I think washing the dishes he left in the sink will take an hour and I charge $15 an hour, and then held out my hand. He shoved past me and did the dishes. I just smiled and went on with things. I am realizing daily that not only am I NOT the MAID, I am teaching the kids to be good adults and DH won't be sloppy for the rest of our life together. Win win scenerio!!
Thank you. I am going to
Thank you. I am going to steal your moves.
I can't wait to see their faces.
keekeedee, I just laughed out
keekeedee, I just laughed out loud at your Poopsie Pie analogy!
So basically these kids are
So basically these kids are cleverer than us at getting their own way?? Hmmmm, plenty of men out there with money that are would possibly appreciate me more. Not sure if I can be bothered with the dating thing again. Saying that this marriage things not much fun either. Good luck to however you all cope.
I have been married for 2
I have been married for 2 years. My wife has a 13 and 9 year old from a past marriage. I feel like all I do is cook and pick up their crap. Yes, all 3 of them. I don't feel like a man anymore. Just a slave. When they talk to their dad on the phone, I am not super step dad. I am not even mentioned when I play with them or take them somewhere. It is like I don't exist. I like to cook. It is a passion of mine, but not when nobody cares. I am thinking of throwing in the towel. Any thoughts?
Do you love your wife txcolt?
Do you love your wife txcolt? Does she support you and validate your feelings? Do you want to have a status with the kids and be mentioned? I never wanted that. I don't care if they think of me as a step mom or not. If you have a good relationship with your wife don't throw in the towel. Talk to her. Go to counseling if she will. If not, you go. The kids are not going to be around forever and eventually will move out.
It's more than just a nanny
It's more than just a nanny and sex...It wouldn't be tough for an average guy to hire a nanny and get laid out in the real world....and be a lot cheaper,no stepkids to deal with,etc.,etc. !!!!!
I never used to agree with
I never used to agree with sperm banks and predetermined single mums. I'm sort of getting it now!!