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Why did I get into this?!?

Strugglingstep1983's picture

I have a ticket for a concert for my step daughter tomorrow. The problem is she hasn't spoken to us since May. She's sent some very nasty messages to both me, her dad and my daughter who is also coming to the concert.
Her and my daughter are all good now (as teenagers always are, they are both 17) during this time we have seen her once when she came over to basically get a lift to her grandma's birthday tea party. We had a chat about the messages and her behaviour then and she said she was sorry and would make an effort to pop in, keep in touch etc. Since then nothing. She has sent her dad more nasty messages, promising to turn up but hasn't and when he's asked her why she's laid into him.
The original reason she stopped coming was over nothing, he asked her what she was going to do with herself since she quit college and had been sacked from 2 jobs so her answer was to cut him off. 
My question is do I ask her to come to the concert if she can make her own way there and back as we have a mini bus from ours and I think a sleepover is a bit soon and provide for herself once we are there or not? She has a pattern over the last few years of falling out with her dad over petty things and then coming back near birthdays, Christmas, holidays or when she wants something.

I'm just so done with the whole situation, she comes and goes as she pleases being so disrespectful at the same time and on top of this my SS has caused so much trouble this week but he's another story. I'm just really regretting marrying into this shit show. 

NieMojCyrk's picture

Is your husband pressing you into inviting his bratty daughter? If yes, my response would be that he is perfectly capable of taking her himself. Your only worry is your own child. 

If not, I'd personally won't say anything to him or her and would just go with my daughter and enjoy the concert.

Strugglingstep1983's picture

Hes not pressing me into it. He says he thinks it would be a good idea for me to take her but the final choice is mine. I don't think she deserves to go and I think it would be very awkward but I don't want him blaming me for her behaviour pretty much like he is doing with his son at the minute. He doesn't parent them and never has and that's why they behave like spoilt entitled little dicks! 

CajunMom's picture

Have your daughter invite a friend for the other ticket and have FUN! Your SD's behaviors do not warrant a concert ticket. 

Winterglow's picture

This gets my vote! Why would you want to reward her appalling behaviour?

Besides, she's quite capable of telling you that she'll be there and then not turn up just to let you know how little importance you have in her eyes.

Harry's picture

Then NO.  I would not want to be stuck, walking on egg shells, to reward a person who haven't spoken to me since May  6 month.  Have DD Invite a friend, .....Have a good time .  ...Make good,... long lasting memories.   SD must do some work now to get back on your good graces.  No more get of jail free card .. she is an adult 

Strugglingstep1983's picture

We went without her had an amazing time and  im so glad we did because before we even got there and before she knew where we were going she was sending my daughter nasty messages saying she looked like an alien on snap chat. She 100% didn't deserve to come! 

Harry's picture

Snap chat.  Just pictures of the show.  Know that nasty for a SP to do.  But this kid is just starting.  And remember,, Christmas grab is coming up.  Does SD have a real reason to be jealous,  ?? her father left her to start a new family. Her mother and her are struggling because of lost of income.  It's has to be hard on her .. But you can't let her control your life. You can't have to have everything destroyed by SD. 

'Your DD is only young once. You only can do one or two concerts. You want good times, good memories.  Not remembering SD upsetting all. 

Strugglingstep1983's picture

I don't have snap chat and nothing was put on snap chat by my daughter about the concert until the is morning. It was a selfie of her in our house that she decided to say she looked like an alien on. Totally uncalled for. 

As for her jealously towards my daughter and me there's no reason, especially not money! We work hard to provide for all of the kids. While her mum sits back with her new husband raking it in. New car, bought a new build while we are still renting and trying our hardest to save up to buy by going down to one car but that's our choice as adults. 

Like you say 1 life and its short and I'm making the most of it. If the step kids are so eaten up by their own jealousy and horrible minds I'm not letting them stop me or ruin me doing things with my own children anymore.