Hi. I'm just looking for a little help from anyone who has had a similar experience. 

My actual husband and I met 22 years ago and lived together for about 2 ½ years. At that time he had an ex-girlfriend with whom he was partner in a retail business. His girlfriend tried everything she could to break us up and eventually succeed, using the firm as a tool. From the time we broke up we went our separate ways and 2 years ahead he married and had a child. The marriage didn't last long and by the time the kid was 3 years old they separated. He got himself in another relationship, remarried and had another child. But the new wife didn't accept his fist child and did treated him very poorly. His son only stayed with them every other weekend, but my husband would pick him up from school every day and would take him to this mother, so they had a pretty strong relationship despite not living together. 

Because my husband's second wife treated his son so poorly, my husband's divorced her too. 

We then reconnected after 20 years apart and every felling was still there. We started living together, but his son didn't want us to. Nevertheless, we did. Shortly after that, his first wife died of lung cancer. The final stages of her disease he was living with his father and would spend just a day or two with his mother. I don't know what their relationship was like, but she usually complained about their son not helping her at all, even when she was almost dying, skin and bone, dragging herself to go shopping for her kid and if wouldn't even help her bring the groceries home because he was playing PlayStation. By this time he was 14 yo already. The night she died he asked his father to go to a concert with his friends. When his father came to live with me, he asked him to stay and live with his grandmother, because he didn't want to change city nor live in the same house as me and my son. She had to move from her house in a different state so that he could stay in his (he inherited his mother house). He stayed that school year with his grandmother, but he was so disrespectful to her that she often called complaining. And one week before the schoolyear finished she couldn't take it anymore and she left. My husband then went to pick him up and brought him to live with us. We chose the best school for him, and also the best soccer team of this state. But he put his foot down and shut himself in his room from day one. The house became grim and heavy since his arrival, even though we did everything to make him welcomed and have the best. For the first 6 months he wouldn't even greet me in the morning and for the first year he pretended me and my son didn't even exist. We only found out he wasn't as sad as he pretended one day my husband came early from work and when he came he didn't know there was anyone at home. We heard him taking and laughing with his friends on the phone and when he heard the door open again he went into his 'depressed' mode again. From that time, my husband and I though it would be better for him to go to get professional help. He said his therapist he didn't have any interest in solving his problems at home. One year later, his therapist said he wouldn't be able to help us with anything at home because my stepson refused completely. He always said he didn't have anything against me, he just didn't want to resolve anything. He is 17 now and continues to stay locked in his room all-day long, just getting out to eat. It has been very hard for me to know I came to wreck their relationship just because I exist. I tried to live apart from my husband but he doesn't think I should. He asked his kid if he wanted him to arrange for him to live a dorm on the same street, but he also doesn't want to. He his very bright but doesn't want to connect with anyone at home, even his father. 

What do you think would be the best solution for everyone to be OK?