Hi all, 

I literally just found this forum and thought you might be able to give me some advice. (Sorry it's so long!) 

I've been with my partner for 5 years now, he has a 10 year old daughter and we are mere weeks away from moving in together and officially blending our families but I can't shake this feeling of dread. His daughter is frustrating the heck out of me.

She is overly needy, demands constant attention. I can't sit on the couch without her practically sitting on top of me. I can't talk to her dad privately when she is around because she won't give us any privacy, she follows me around all the time. 

She is demanding and selfish she is constantly hitting people up to buy her new things that she wants, she's said when I move in there we can go out shopping together all the time. I watched her for a couple of days in the holidays as her dad couldn't arrange alternative child care and she wanted me to buy her lunch, she wanted to go shopping to buy toys. I told her I had no money for toys or buying fast food and when I went to buy some bread rolls for lunch she turned to me and said "oh so you do have money?! We can go and get toys." 

We were doing some baking and I had 2 eggs left which I told her she couldn't use as I needed them for dinner and she spent an hour telling me how she needed them more than I did, even after I'd said no. She goes through my son's toys and demands to take them home with her because she wants them more (keep in mind my son was 4 when this happened!) . She has even said that when we all live together she will need more attention than my son because she likes attention. She interrupts conversations all the time and if you don't give her attention straight away she will walk off and sulk or scream about something until she gets attention.. like one time she screamed the cat had gotten out (it hadn't, it was on the kitchen floor and she knew that.)

She screams and screeches like a banshee for no reason other than she can, she has this forced screaming laugh that she does when people are laughing because she wants the attention back on herself, she has no manners at all, she is so disrespectful towards her dad and openly says she doesn't want to be at his house unless I'm there. She has told me she doesn't like it when people tell her what to do or get angry at her when she lies. Her dad will sit her down to talk to her when she lies or does something wrong, he never yells at her but she still doesn't like it when he has these talks with her. She is also incredibly manipulative and she steals.

My partner has 2 levels to his house and he offered me the smaller lower level has an office space as I work from home, but his daughter decided last week she wants to live down there and get a dog (just for her of course). He has agreed to this without even talking to me about it. I have a couple of problems with it. She doesn't sleep in her own bed as it is and insists on sleeping on the couch when she is there, and she is there 4 days a fortnight, so it would literally be a space for her to lock away her toys from my son and otherwise it would go unused. She also has many other pets at his house that she doesn't look after, she screams and screeches in the cats face and it is terrified of her, she has also put it in its little house and sprayed it with water and wouldn't let it out. So I would hate to see how a dog would react to that kind of treatment. 

I'm annoyed that my partner agreed to this without talking to me about it, especially since I'm about 2 weeks off moving and she has essentially just made sure I don't even have privacy or quiet to be able to do my work anymore, which is literally the only thing I've asked my partner for.

I'm sorry this post is so long but I've been holding onto this for about a year with no one to talk to and it's just becoming a massive issue for me. I've tried talking to him about there behaviour but he doesnt think he can do much about it. 

Im not sure I want to move in with him anymore to be honest and I'm considering ending my 5 year long relationship with him over this. It's just getting worse as she gets older. 

Am I over reacting? Am I being ridiculous? What should I do? Any advice? 

Thank you!