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SS12 twists words to dad= lying in my book = more doubt about relationship

amelia1210's picture

Submitted by amelia1210 on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:17pm

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Blended Family Issues

SS asked me a couple questions about dinner, goes to dad and twists my words around, my BF then got upset with me because of what he said.
I confronted ss and he maintained that I was the liar...
This has happened more than once, he is disrespectful without punishing, has badmouthed me to my own son, and consistently to his BM which has caused my BF and I much grief.
My BF said "I wasn't there to hear it so I don't know who is lying" he then reminded me that I am often forgetful of what I say (Which I have not agreed with prior to or now) he also throws other stuff back in my face.
Tired of trying to make it work.
anyone have any advice

Aeron's picture

Submitted by Aeron on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:26pm

If your BF thinks so little of you as a person and so little of your relationship that he's willing to believe that you are a liar because 'he wasn't there to hear it' and defends it with 'well maybe you forgot what you said', my advice is to get yourself and your child out of this toxic situation.

These situations where dad is an ostrich don't get better, they get worse. The more SS sees that he can get away with disrespecting you, the worse the behavior and the lies will get. The worse things will get for you and your son. Leave this poor excuse of a father and a BF and find someone that treats you with respect and expects others to do the same. Otherwise your child is going to start picking up that treating you like this is acceptable.

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:35pm

MY DH is the most naïve gullible idiot when it comes to his kid. Anything this kid says must be the gospel truth and this brat knows this all too well. Do not marry this man, do not continue a relationship, move on, before you end up like me.

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:38pm

"I wasn't there to hear it so I don't know who is lying" is enough right there to tell you this man is as blind as a bat when it comes to his kid and how one should approach a situation like this. You are the adult, you are the one he is in a relationship with, and he is lowering you down to the same level as a child, as if two children are bickering and he doesn't know which one to believe. This is bullshit and you should not be treated that way. He should believe you and discipline the kid. If he doesn't that is the clearest answer you need. If he doesn't support you now he will not do it if you were to become his wife.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:47pm

So if he isn't there it didn't really happen? Oh boy use this to your advantage. You can say ANYTHING to the brat and then deny it. Play with the brat's mind as you plot your departure.

Stepcop's picture

Submitted by Stepcop on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 11:04pm

Play with skids mind you wil....dh none the wiser will be.....ok, I might need to just got bed now, lol

amelia1210's picture

Submitted by amelia1210 on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 7:00am

Thank you ladies for validating my own thoughts and feelings!
I go back and forth between staying and leaving, I love and care about my BF and his kids.
But I feel that the BM has more power over the situation and she hates, me why I can't say....I made an effort to communicate with her from the start and we have watched her dogs and nothing seems to help.
He has them 50/50 and is opposite of Disney dad mostly he is countering her spoiling the boys, ss12 has verbalized that he does not want me or my kids here because he doesn't want to share his room or his stuff......sad really.

svillemomof4's picture

Submitted by svillemomof4 on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 9:21am

Sounds like he worships the ground his son walks on. If your bf keeps it up he will never have a real relationship with any woman until his kid is grown, if even then.