So over it
I need advice it's going to be a long post, not sure where else to go. We have 4 kids we have been married 6 years but have been together 12 my husband brought 3 bio children in to the marriage and I brought 1 bio daughter. My stepchildrens bio mother wanted nothing to do with them for 2 years and my husband and I raised all the children together. We have had are stressful days but now I'm not sure what to do so try to keep up with me. In the past year my ss18 and sd13 have gone to live with there bio mother because " I'm mean" I have rules and we don't back down on punishments where bio mother does. But now neither ss18 or sd13 will come visit there father unless its my weekend to work ( which is every other weekend). I have to have surgery in few weeks which means I will not be working my normal sched for work. So last night my sd15 ( still lives with us just visits bio mother once a week) blows up my phone once I finally answer it I keep getting questioned as to what weekend I'm working and not I ask her why and get told that sd13 and ss18 want to know when they can come over with out me there. I let my husband know and he can't believe them which I don't understand why that is he knows they want nothing to do with me. I don't even like it when they visit because it doesn't matter how clean the house is when I leave for work it's a mess when I come home and my bio daughter and sd15 leave for that weekend so they don't have to deal with ther others attitudes. But because ss18 and sd13 don't live here they don't care how they treat there bio father or me they will not clean up after there self and sd13 will steal anything and everything she can from me ( husband knows) then er have a problem with a relative on bio mothers side that when there is a post or pic on Facebook by sd15 about my bio daughter or me there are nasty hateful comments left and my family can she what the relative writes ( it's a adult around 34). Last night I explain to my husband from now on I will leave with my bio daughter the weekends I work and will not return until sd18 and sd13 return back to there bio mothers on Sunday just to keep the tension down I ask ss18 or sd13 to do anything it's a argument and honestly I'm tired of doing it. Help!!!
I would keep those good for
I would keep those good for nothing nasty skids out of my home always!!!!
Isn't the 18 year old a
Isn't the 18 year old a little old for "visitation?" Why can't H go out and wine and dine her on his own time (not that I agree with that) Your H is the problem if he treats his brood like "returning royalty."
^^^^^^I echo echo^^^^^^
^^^^^^I echo echo^^^^^^
I definitly understand you
I definitly understand you leaving on the weekends they are there. I was doing the same thing. (With a baby no less) i admit,, it was kind of tedious packing and leaving, and sometimes irritating. After all, i LIVED there and ss just VISITED. I was more than willing to do this becuz i was the one who didnt want to be around ss. The other weekends, dh would go visit ss.
In my case, mil is raising ss, so dh could just stay overnite there. After a couple months, dh said he will go up there on my weekends to leave. Oh, he had all these good reason's why it was better and easier, etc... whatever i got to stay home and that was great for me and baby. Of course dh said, "well, it might not be everytime. Sometimes i might wanna stay here, blah blah" Again i have no problem with that, but dh now has a bed up there, toiletries, etc, where i would be shacking up with my sis, sleepin on her couch, paking everything, AND baby stuff. Then if she has plans, i would have to find another place.
Easy for him, complex for me. News flash for him, if he ever "decides" him and ss will stay here that one weekend a month, it aint happening. Dh has accomodations, ss lives there, family is there, etc... My house is in another town, nothing to do at my house, etc..
No reason to come, and im suppose to leave for that?! I dont think so.
Your 18 yr old skid can visit for a day, there is no reason for an overnight. The 13 year old, whats wrong with just one night? I think your dh can be a little more creative on how to work these weekends so that you can have sometime in your own home.
For me personally, though i would be irritated and seething about cleaning up after their weekend visit, i would be more thankful i wasnt around them. And i would tell myself, if cleaning up their shit is all i have to do to not see them then so be it!
Doesnt make it right, but i would pick n choose my battles.
good luck to ya.