Ok, I wanted to share this because I'm sure every step parent goes through this and for once the step parent won this little battle.. lol

So.. my skids are brats. Manipulative, spoiled, vindictive, undisciplined brats. I am here fighting the good fight to try to make them productive responsible adults.. ..

So, after a week with these kids the house is trashed. I work some 50+ hours a week and maintaining a spotless home Monday - Friday is impossible.. Weekends are my catch up time for domestic duties. I don't ask the stepkids or my biodaughter to do much - ocassionally assist loading/unloading the dishwasher, take in/out the trash cans - things like that. Their main jobs are schoolwork and their rooms - which are a mess.

So, yesterday while I'm cleaning the house from top to bottom (and so is DH - yippie)and doing laundry I tell the kids it's time to do a complete cleaning of their rooms (meaning not just making their beds and tossing everything in the closet).. afer much objection from skids, SS10 complies and starts picking up his room (biodaughter knows what is expected so of course there is no issue). SS13 goes into the room his dad is vaccuming and stands there. I walk in and say "whatcha doing?" - he replies that he is waiting on the sweeper. His dad and I tell him to go pick up his room and we will bring the sweeper to him.. lol, already he is trying to get out of cleaning his room. I walk into SK13's room and hand him a bottle of pledge and a rag and tell him to clear off his dresser and nightstand and wipe it down (there is 1/4 inch of dust on it) - he complains and I say "everyone else has the same chore and you need to do it too - it's your room".. he walks back into the room where his dad is to again wait on the sweeper.. (see the game here??).. Dad takes the sweeper into his room and helps him make his bed and sweep.. ok, big deal (he's playing the I'm helpless and can't do it card).. by the way, the 9 year old (biodaughter) and 10 year old (SS) are having no issues with their tasks - only the 13 year old.

I notice that the 13 year old and dad are done with his room BUT the dresser and nightstand are still the same (covered with misc. crap and dust) so I walk downstairs to see where the 13 year old is.. oh, he's hanging out with dad who is taking out the trash.. I say to him "you need to go upstairs and finish your room".. dad asks "what else is there to finish"...

**Now here's the part every stepmom dreads** It's the "I told your kid to do something and he is deliberately disregarding it" talk.

I calmly say (because if you don't approach this right it will blow up in your face because SK13 is being a daddys boy and following him around like a puppy) "I told him to wipe down his furniture - which everyone else has to do as well. He knows this and doesn't want to do it. That is why he is down here following you around instead of upstairs in his room like the other 2 kids." I take a deep breath.. waiting for DH to defend SK13 or fall for SK13's objection that it is "too hard to remove his crap from his nightstand and dresser".. I say, "come on, I'll help you (which I have no intention of doing).." DH says "he needs to get up there and do it like she asked you.."

See.. SK13 was playing the "ignore what SMOM asked me to do and follow daddy around the house until she has to ask me again in front of him and I'll make a big deal about how mean, unfair and unreasonable it is. Then DH will question what she is asking me to do and she will get offended and they will fight - taking the attention off what the issue was in the first place" game.. These kids do it all the time at my house, but I am learning how to beat them at their games. I pointed out to their father every little move SK13 made that day and how he was attempting to manipulate him (of course in private hours after the incident). DH finally had a "lightbulb moment" and thank goodness!!

Anyone else have to go through this kind of manipulation? I'm sure you have.