I found this site today and man, must admit that I needed it for a while now. I am so tired of being hurt. I don't have a problem with my ss mom, but my mother-in-law and my husband. When I married my husband 10 years ago, I had 2 kids, he had 1, and we had one together. My mother-in-law has taken over my ss and made my life a living hell. I have done all I could to make a relationship with my ss, but he has been allowed to walk over me no matter what. As I read over the horrible ss stories,my ss has done all of the things people have complained about, so it is no need to repeat them. I knew the day would come when he would grow up and become a grown monster and it has happened. So it is safe to say that the disengagement does not work!!!! It made it bearable for me to stay, but the monster only got bigger and stronger. Now I am the bad parent creating tension and dont care.

First, I must say that my husband has no problem enforcing punishments or rules to my kids and for the major part they followed the rules or else they dealt with us. I never allowed my kids to play us to the middle. When my children stepped out of line, I got on my children and made them do what was right and respect my husband and my mother in law. However, they have not given me back the respect. It also hurt my relationship with my children because they always felt that I was hard on them and never enforced rules with ss. We are still working on our relationship and husband does not care about what my kids say. I have a evil mother-in-law and treat her son and gson with all the love and respect she can give.

I allowed my Mother n law to live with us and she really hurt our relationship in all areas. She walked over me and my kids until I put my foot down and had her move out. She stated that I would never be happy and she would see to it. She goes behind my back and runs my relationship with ss and husband and has caused a break down between all of us. My husband who was not raised by his mom, finds her to be difficult to handle-so he lets her have her way to keep peace!

My ss is now 20 years old and lives with us and does nothing. I gave him a choice as we did my older boys and he has not done any of them. Each time husband supports his decision and continues to help him out.

1. work full time
2. go to school
3. work and go to school
4. go to service

My kids have done all of the above and have moved out. His son has not done any of them and is given everything he needs. He lays in the bed all day and play video games all night. My hubby took him to go find a job and he kept it for two weeks before being fired for being late 5 times in two weeks. He refused to go to school, cuz he does not want to do homework and stated that he could not go to the service cuz he has asthma and never took the test to find out. Me and my husband sit and talk and make the rules. However, as I enforce them my husband never says anything and it makes me look like the bad person. I have tried so hard to be a good parent to this kid and I cant. I mentor other kids, so I know how to deal with kids, but only can reach those that want the help. I no longer want to help my ss and this is a sad day for me. Never has my family disrespected or over rode his rules in our house.

Besides being a lazy bum, he constantly talks to me like he owns the house and I am the kid. I will never let a child walk over me and feel that is why disengagement does not work well for me. I am so disappointed with my husband that I no longer look at him the same. While he yearns to have his mother in his life that did not raise him, I have suffered for 10 years to let him have it, as she still walks over me to this day.

Today is not the first day, but the last that I will feel this way. I am in the progress of leaving my husband, who is can not stand up to his family and chooses to treat me like crap. Today he told me that after hearing my story and his sons, feel that we are putting him in the middle and he feels it is unfair and he is tired. I am sad and tired to have to leave my home!!!!!! Others might not see my importance, but today I do. Tears flow as I write this because I am so lost as to how someone who says they love u can treat u so bad.